Sunday, October 15, 2006

Anniversary and birthday thoughts...

Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. On Thursday of this week, I will have another birthday (not 40 yet!)... Because I have been in a bit of a funk for the last while, my hubby arranged a surprise party for me on Friday night. My brother in law and his wife came to visit for the weekend, and we had planned a family get together for Friday evening. I never suspected a thing. My husband called me while I was out and asked me to take my daughter to Welland to pick up some stuff from the mall - I figured no way was I driving out there during rush hour. My twin boys tried desperately to get me to help them deliver their papers because it was raining - I said no way - I have a job of my own, and delivering papers is their job. I relented somewhat and drove them down the street so they wouldn't have to walk with all those papers, but then I came back home. Then my daughter tries to get me to take her to the bank - I said we would do that when we went to Welland... I was honestly starting to get annoyed that everyone wanted me to be their little chauffeur - but thought nothing more of it. Then, my brother in law wouldn't let me come into my own kitchen! That is par for the course - he always cooks when he comes to visit and never lets me in there. So I started to suspect that perhaps they were planning an anniversary surprise, since that is today and the birthday is next week... anyhow, what's my point? The point is that sometimes we get frustrated at the situations that are happening in life and they are happening for a darn good reason. But we get so caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves, that we can't see the forest for the trees. Needless to say, I was very surprised and we had a great time. Once I was on the other side of things, and everyone explained why they were trying to get me out of the house, I felt a lot better, and was truly appreciative of the effort that everyone went through.

Bottom line: everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately, life doesn't always get together to explain in detail why frustrations came your way, but eventually you'll get to the point where you understand and even appreciate the frustration in your life. So - while frustration is a bummer, sometimes - almost all the time, there is a really good reason for it.

Frustration is a Bummer

Have you ever had times in your life when nothing seems to be going right? I mean - nothing. Your stress goes through the roof because everywhere you go and everything you do seems to just backfire, or even worse - it just falls flat. That is how things have been for me for about 2 months - everyone has their dry seasons, but it still stinks! I have noticed that as my frustration builds I tend to withdraw from social situations, I am more irritable and my temper becomes very short, and everything becomes a chore. Frustration really is a bummer.

One of the things I have made a conscious effort to do throughout this process is to observe my reactions and responses to things, and to make note of what I don't like about how I am coping, and how I want to change. It embarrasses me to say it, but I find that when I am very frustrated, and feeling overwhelmed that I don't like to take ownership of my circumstances. I think this is a fairly universal human trait - that we would prefer if someone else were to blame for our situations. But one of the things I've realized as I go through this particularly dry season in my life, is that if others are to blame for my circumstances, then others will be the ones who get me out of this situation! That means that I have no control over my own destiny. That really doesn't sit right. So - I am working on taking ownership of my current circumstances, and rather than trying to lay blame, I am identifying the things I did and the choices I made that brought me to this place. And on the flip side, I am looking at what choices I can make now, that could take me to a better place in the future. There is a saying that when you change the way you look at things, things change. I'm holding on to that one with both hands. If there's one thing you can count on - things are going to change. Sometimes they change for the worse, and sometimes they change for the better.

Have you looked at This is a great weblog that has been turned into a book. It has gotten me thinking - the human experience is fairly common across cultures and creeds - I would love to hear what frustrates you and what makes you angry. I only have one request - please don't use profanity - that adds to my frustration level. While I may not be able to respond to your comments individually, I will most certainly comment through the blog. If ever you can't access this blog because the site is down for maintenance or whatever, please visit my website, and you can leave your comments there. Ciao for now!