Monday, February 24, 2020

I'm 50! Things I've Learned

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Yes, it's true. I'm 50 years old. It's kind of hard to believe, since I'm still only about 17 years old in
my head.

I got to reflecting the other day, about my 50 years on this planet, and the many life lessons I have learned, and as is my way, I made a list. That list is still incomplete - but I have been making a list of lessons - one for every year of my life. Right now I'm in the decade of 30s to 40s, and realizing that there is a lot of "life" to review to sort out the most important takeaways from that decade.

Here's what I know for sure from decade ONE:
1. Your dollies are not real people. If you cut of their hair, it WON'T ever grow back.
2. Dancing in the rain naked is pretty much always going to get you in trouble.
3. Stuffing your dress with tissues to make it look like you have boobs is also pretty much ALWAYS going to get you in trouble. (The first time I did this, I was FIVE).
4. Reading is a gateway to another universe, and the fastest way to expand one's knowledge. (You see, I learned to read very early, and I read everything. I loved signs, books of all kinds, and even read dictionaries and encyclopedias for fun. I know that makes me a nerd, but now nerds rule the world).
5. Death is real thing and loss is inevitable. (I learned this when my very first dog died after being struck by a motorcycle, and when I had to leave my beloved second puppy, Ceasar behind when we came to Canada. I was SIX).
6. Sometimes bad things happen and we have no control over it. (I learned this as an extension of lesson number five. By the time we left Jamaica when I was six years old, I had attended several funerals, watched people grieve, lost my first dog. Then, we had to leave everything I knew and loved behind to go to a new country. None of that was within my control, but I also learned that I needed to adapt).
7. Change is inevitable. Learn to go with the flow or you'll be swept away by the current. (By the age of TEN, I had moved homes five times, attended four schools, and had lived in two countries. I had taken my first plane ride, seen my first autumn, and experienced my first winter. I learned early to adjust to the circumstances life throws at me).
8. Sometimes when you feel like no-one is going to be there for you, you've just got to step up and be there for yourself. I learned this lesson sometime between the ages of three and six years old. I remember I was at school (Avondale Prep) and waiting for my mother to come and pick me up at the end of the day. I waited and waited and waited and no one came. So I decided I would just have to get home by myself. I walked all the way home - bawling every step of the way; partly to keep people away from me, but also because I was terrified. When I got home, my mom was apparently on her way to get me - she had got caught up at work or something. Everyone was freaked, but I made it home safely and so we all relaxed once it was figured out. What I took from that situation is that even when I'm scared and alone, if I can keep my head about me, I can find a solution to my problem and be there for myself.
9. Winter is cold! Snow is beautiful, but if you're not prepared for it, it could kill you. This lesson came my first winter in Canada. It was VERY cold, and one day on my way walking home from school, I was overtaken with the biting Ottawa winds. My brother found me curled up in the snow along the path to our house, and brought me home. My hands and feet were frozen, my ears and nose as well. I learned my lesson that day - better to be bundled up with lots of layers than not warm enough. I learned to respect the elements, and the fact that in the end, they are more powerful than I am.
10. I have the power to choose. This lesson has come in increments over the years, but the first time I really recognized my power to choose was about the age of EIGHT. I had been in piano lessons from a very young age, and my piano instructors in Jamaica were typically pleasant, kind people. When I switched schools for the third time and got a new piano teacher, I WAS DONE. This woman was cruel and hurtful. She enjoyed rapping knuckles with a meter stick, and then screamed at me to "DRY UP!" whenever I cried. She made learning and practicing piano a complete nightmare. I told my parents, NO MORE. There was nothing they could do to make me change my mind. To this day, the thought of taking piano lessons gives me hives. I learned how to play by ear, and while I often regret not knowing more theory or having the ability to sightread music, I do not regret standing up for myself and exercising my power to choose.

There you have it! The first ten most important lessons I learned within the first ten years of my life. Stay tuned for the next 10 year installment, and please watch the corresponding videos on our new You Tube Channel, Leverage U [TV].