Natural Solutions for Stress and Anxiety

Natural Health Supplements 

One of the things I don't talk much about is the fact that a few years ago, I
took a course in Natural Health Fundamentals. It is important to me that I have as many resources possible to help clients who are struggling. One of the tools I discovered in my natural health exploration is GABA.

GABA  (gamma-aminobutyric acid) is produced naturally by the human body and it inhibits neurotransmitters that make us feel alert and excited. This promotes relaxation and reduces tension across the central nervous system. GABA may occur naturally in the human body, but we often are deficient. GABA's main role is to help calm the nervous system. I have found in personal use that GABA helps to quiet my brain while I sleep, and it is especially effective if you have a lot of nightmares. Even if the nightmares don't go away completely, I find that with regular use of GABA at night before bed, that I am able to wake myself up before they get "bad" or that my brain will simply switch the bad dream off. Regular use of GABA helps me feel more calm and balanced throughout the day.

Natural Solution for Stress and Anxiety

Many of my clients have reported that their driving anxiety decreases, they are able to focus better, and that they no longer feel that constant vibration of low-grade anxiety in their body after using GABA. 

Is GABA a miracle drug? First, it's not a drug, it's a natural supplement - an amino acid. Second, no - it doesn't work for everyone. Still, it's worth a try since it has few to no side effects, and after a few days of using it, you'll see a difference in your state of general arousal.

In my experience, GABA does not make you sleepy, so although it contributes to a better quality sleep, it won't help you fall asleep like Melatonin or 5-HTP will. 5-HTP is Tryptophan - the hormone found in turkey and bananas that make you feel like you're falling into a food coma after Thanksgiving dinner. Tryptophan makes you drowsy, and can help you fall asleep if you're struggling with insomnia.

Give it a shot! There are a host of vendors on Amazon that sell GABA, 5-HTP (tryptophan), and other natural supplements that help to calm and sedate the nervous system. When you see results, reach out and let me know how they are working for you!

Natural Solution for Stress and Anxiety

When the Roads Get HOT: How to Deal with Road Rage

The Rise of Rage by Julie A. Christiansen

Last week, I took my hubby to Burlington for some guitar shopping and dinner to celebrate his

birthday. What should have been a 35 minute drive home turned into 2.5 hours of gridlock and delays due to traffic, construction, and poor navigation choices.

It was a perfect opportunity to see road rage at work, yet there were no angry outbursts, no dangerous or aggressive drivers in sight. Given that road rage is such a HOT topic right now, here are my thoughts on why road rage occurs and why we didn't see it during 2 hours of gridlock.

Anger shows up when one or more of these four conditions are present:

1. rules are broken
2. boundaries are violated
3. needs/expectations are unmet
4. goal attainment is thwarted

This happens often when we are on the road!

I believe the reason people stayed calm during our multi-hour ordeal was this:

1. No-one was violating the rules of the road. Everyone was respectfully staying in place. A few people turned back to try to find a better alternate route, but they did so safely.
2. No boundaries were violated. There was no aggressive driving (none of us could move!), and people were being as patient as they could be given the circumstances.
3. Our need to get home was not being met, but given that traffic was clearly locked down, our expectation of a very long wait was clearly established. Because we knew and EXPECTED to be sitting in traffic for a while, there was no escalation of angry feelings. We would have only felt anger had our expectations been for a quick commute.
4. We knew that one way or another, we were going to make it home. Since we were not in a rush, and the goal was only delayed, not thwarted, we were all good, and happy to be patient.

When people decide their needs, rules, or boundaries are more important than everyone else's, that's when things can go sideways on the road.

It has been my honour and privilege to speak with the media over the several days about the realities of road rage. See the link below to read the Global News article that started it all.

My new book, The Rise of Rage is now available for pre-order at Amazon! Reserve your copy today!

The Rise of Rage by Julie A. Christiansen

Road Rage is Heating Up in Canada - Global News Report, June 28, 2023

THINK

How to react to anger emotions

According to William Glasser, the author of Choice Theory, we all filter the stimuli we receive in the “real” world through our senses, our values, and our expectations. This filtered information is the “perceived” world. We tend to think of our perceptions as reality – the way things truly are however, we must remember that our perceptions are coloured or impacted by our personal filters. This is why two people can see the same movie, witness the same accident, or look at the same beautiful person and have different reactions, thoughts, or ideas about what they saw.

A frustration signal occurs when we feel a disconnect between our perceived world and our ideal world pictures. Often when we receive that FRUSTRATION signal to the brain, we revert to whatever comes naturally for us. One typical approach is to ACT without THINKING – this is to externalize our feelings through acting out behaviours – yelling, physical actions, slamming doors, threatening,throwing things, driving too fast, etc.

The other option is to THINK without ACTING – this is to

internalize feelings, hiding them from the world and using self-blame or perhaps other-blame in a very personal quiet way, while never actually talking about or doing something about those feelings. Either way, this creates a sense of imbalance. The only way to achieve balance is through a process of self-evaluation, which I have discussed often in this blog:

T: Think – what is happening? what does it mean? how do I feel about it? what should I do about my feelings? what is the best thing that can happen if I do this? what is the worst thing that can happen if I do this?

S: Say – Talk to the person with whom you have the problem, or the one who can help you resolve it. Use assertive language – I feel … because…

A: Ask – Invite the other party to engage in a dialogue with you to work at resolving the issue that is presenting itself. See if you can work together to achieve an outcome that is desirable for you both.

Remember that you cannot and must not ask for some input then walk away once the person starts to talk! If you start the dialogue, see it through. Remember that if you expect people to hear you out,

you must extend the same courtesy to them. So hear them out, and if you disagree, then so be it! At least you are talking about it now, and even if all that comes of the dialogue is that you agree to disagree, you will still have come a long way from feeling hurt or angry.

What Is Anger?

Anger: What is it?

Anger doesn’t just show up; sure, it is something we are all born with, but it develops because of our circumstances. Understanding how anger develops is instrumental in developing safe, appropriate, and effective ways of expressing it. Let’s explore this a bit further. Although we tend to think that the visible or audible stimuli in our environment are the causes or triggers of our behaviour, the truth is those stimuli cause us to feel an emotion.

The emotion that is induced by that stimulus is the actual trigger.

Think about that for a second.

Some common causes of anger are felt emotions.

- Confusion

o Over stimulation or sensory overload

o Lack of oxygen to the brain

o Misperception of verbal communication due to poor filtering

o Misperception of physical communication

o Misinterpretation of verbal and/or physical communication due to cognitive deficit

(developmental delay, brain injury)

- Frustration

o Underrecognized presence

o Desire not being fulfilled

o Unsuccessful attraction for attention

o Inability to communicate effectively

o Frustration leads to feeling anger

- Unmet Expectations

o Reality vs. Ideals do not match

o Real world is filtered through our senses, values and experiences become the

perceived world.

o When there is enough of a discrepancy between what we WANT (ideal world)

and what we think we HAVE (perceived world), anger can develop. It may begin

with disappointment, frustration, or irritation, but the more unhappy we are with

our perceived world, the easier it will be to respond in anger.

Anger is not a behaviour. It’s an emotion. It’s a result of something else; confusion, frustration, unmet expectations. If we learn to think differently about those causes, if we learn to expand our understanding of our own self and needs, we will be able to adapt that understanding to appropriate expressions of our emotions.

The Rise of Rage by Julie A. Christiansen

Plan B Sucks! Chris Gardner

Do y'all remember the movie "Pursuit of Happyness"? I loved it then, but there are some stark differences between the reality of the film and the reality of Chris Gardner's life. Watch and be inspired!

#success #financialsuccess #changeyourlife #homeless #hopeless #billionairelife #radicalchange #leverage

Get Comfortable with Discomfort Julie Christiansen

now •

This never gets old. My choice matrix shows up in the therapy space almost every day. Too often we make the wrong choices because they keep us within our comfort zone. 

It feels good for a moment, but every time we make the wrong but easy choice we delay any long-term gains.
Why?
Because of unwillingness to change.
.
Are you willing to give up what's yucky but comfortable so you can have something greater?
.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the capacity to make right choices that feel good now AND later?
.
The only way to get there is by adjusting your comfort zone.
.
You will have to push through making right choices that feel UNCOMFORTABLE. It doesn't feel good now, so you have a bit of short term pain or discomfort.
.
Saying no to unhealthy foods feels like deprivation.
.
Quitting smoking is hard.
.
Working out makes your muscles ache.
.
Holding your integrity when everyone else is profiting from having none - feels unfair.
.
Do it anyway.
.
Push through that period of making right choices that feel bad and give short term pain so that you can get COMFORTABLE with delayed gratification - long term gain.
.
Eventually, making the right choice will be easy. It won't be uncomfortable anymore because your comfort zone will have shifted.
.
That's how you create radical, positive, lasting change.
.
If you haven't already, head over to my website: https://lnkd.in/gqG8xH_Y

 and request a copy of my E-Book, "Radical Positive Lasting Change."
#changeyourlife #choices #behaviourmanagement #mentalhealthmatters #psychotherapists #positivepsychology #angersolutions #comfortzone

Never Negotiate Who You Are - Brene Brown

I came across this video and it really resonated. How do we enter into negotiations in business, family, or community and maintain our sense of self? What does it mean when people say they have 'trust issues'? How do we communicate with others the factors that impede our ability to trust them? This video provides clear insight with measurable factors that will contribute to improving your trust factor.

Maybe it wasn't meant for you.

Sometimes the things you want so desperately pass you by. Sometimes you get DENIED when what you really want is permission. But never forget that man's rejection is God's protection. Have no fear! Your time is coming.

#motivation #rejection #protection #staythecourse #keepcalmandcarryon #itwasntyours

Anger Myth #3 Anger Should Be Controlled

If anger is an emotion, then it follows that we should be free to express our anger as freely as we express our other basic emotions.  No one thinks it odd that humans express their happiness, sadness or fear.  Yet the popular belief remains that anger if expressed can only lead to “bad things”.  In my seminars I have heard it explained this way, “Anger is dangerous…”, “Anger is sinful…”, “Showing your anger doesn’t help you in the end…”  Think about this: unexpressed anger has its repercussions as well.  Not expressing anger can hold far more consequences for the angry person in the way of ongoing emotional problems as a result of the unresolved feelings.  We also know that unresolved, unexpressed anger can lead to a wide range of physical problems such as ulcers, high blood pressure, migraines, heart disease and stroke, to name only a few.

If you're ready to learn more about anger, why not grab a copy of my book, Anger Solutions: Proven Strategies for Resolving Anger and Taking Control of Your Emotions! Your transformation is within reach! 

Stop Being "Judgy"! Anger is Not Bad

Myth No. 2: Anger is BAD

Well… Yeah!  If anger is behaviour, then of course it is bad -- that goes without saying.  If anger equals hitting, yelling, screaming, slamming doors, and all the other behaviours we see as negative, then no wonder we see anger as bad.  The truth is, experiencing the emotion of anger in and of itself is not “bad”, although the ways we choose to express anger can sometimes be labelled as “bad” or “unacceptable”. 

        Have you been conceptualizing anger as a behaviour - a BAD behaviour? Time to re-think this! Keep an eye on this thread to see what else about anger just isn't true.

#angermanagement #angersolutions 

It's Not True! Anger is not Behavior

Myths about Anger - A thread

Myth 1: Anger is behaviour

I know you are likely getting tired of reading this over and over again, but a wise man said, “Repetition is the mother of skill”.  So hear this again: Anger is NOT behaviour!  Anger is experienced as a negative emotion, one of the basic four emotions that we as humans experience: happy, sad, mad, and afraid.  We do not do happy, or sad or afraid.  Why then should we expect to do anger?  We do not use the term, “I’m getting happy!” on a regular basis, but it is not unusual for one to say, “I’m getting mad at you!” 

Tradition says that anger is what we see, and it is a mask for more "primary" emotions that lie beneath the surface. This is not true! Anger is, in fact, a basic emotion that emerges as early as the first year of life. The reality is that anger is NOT what we see. We see scowling, grimacing, we hear yelling or swearing, we hear verbal abuse, we see doors slamming, erratic driving, or aggressive, intimidating actions. What we SEE is behavior.

I have found the myth that anger is behavior to be the most widely believed in our society.  It is what I call a “foundational” belief, because almost every other myth that exists about anger rests upon this first one.  It is imperative that we go right to the heart of the matter and change this foundational belief.  Once this myth is dispelled, the other myths will melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Would you like to know more about anger and how to resolve it safely and appropriately? My book, Anger Solutions: Proven Strategies for Effectively Resolving Anger and Taking Control of Your Emotions remains available for a limited time! Grab your copy before they're all gone.

How to Survive Hard Times Put One Step In Front of The Other with Tyler Perry

I am a huge Tyler Perry fan, and his story is such an inspiration to me. I remember that day in 2009 when I realized I had been applying for jobs I was underqualified for, and not even one interview had happened. We were under pressure for money, and I was so depressed. I honestly thought about driving my car into the lake and just quietly fading away. 

Instead, I cried it out and turned back toward home. I decided to level up instead of giving up. I went back to school and got my Masters degree. Got hired at George Brown College as an Adjunct Professor. Started my private practice in psychotherapy. Grew it into a team of seven therapists and staff. Revived Leverage U into a busy speaking/publishing/consulting company. 

But it started with one foot in front of the other. #howyougrow #survival #yougotthis #motivation #inspiration #growthmindset

How to Feel the Love After Trauma - Guest Blogger, Krystal Snider

I have a very skewed relationship with sex and intamacy. When I think about the lessons I learned or didn't learn about this important topic I wonder where I got my messaging and where I learned about these topics. I will start with the fact that I was raised Roman Catholic. Went to catholic school and catholic church with catholic parents. I am a cis gendered white female growing up in the 90’s and reaching high school by the early 2000’s. I have a history of early childhood trauma and human trafficking.  So fair to say my relationship with sex and intimacy was pretty skewed from the beginning.  I was hypersexualized as a young child and that mixed with the shame of the trauma and the shame from the messages I received really has left me with little skills or knowledge around intimacy. 

I am slowly learning now in my early-mid 30’s that there is an entire spectrum of intimacy that exists. I have been married to my partner for 15 years and as I continue to heal from my trauma I continue to learn about just how unsafe I often feel. When my friend Julie Christiansen asked a group of folks to try out their “feel the love” Cards I was super curious and also wanted to support her with this launch. Let me tell you- as a person healing from trauma these cards were really great at helping me identify intimacy on a spectrum. The cards come as a challenge where you can do them once a day, twice a week, once a week really whatever works for you. You take turns with your partner and complete them. Here is what Jaycee and Julie had to say about the cards and an intro to them both:

Feel the Love! Why We Wrote It

Jaycee Ryan - Author, Laws of Attraction Romance Series

Feel the Love came about as part of the story development for my debut women's fiction series: Laws of Attraction. The series explores all sorts of relationship issues like infidelity, divorce, childhood abuse, domestic violence, infertility, and criminal harassment. One of the main characters of the series writes a book by the same title and then develops the cards as an add-on for couples. I got thinking… "this is actually a cool idea!" So, I approached my publisher who is also a Registered Psychotherapist and she agreed to work on making the cards a real thing. What's cool about this is that the psychological theories woven through the books are real, and discovering through the vehicle of fiction makes them easy to learn. Using the cards may not get you a fairytale ending, but they will certainly help people achieve deeper levels of intimacy, passion and commitment in their relationships. There are 30 cards in the package: ten for intimacy, ten for passion, and ten for commitment. You can choose to do one challenge a day, or spread it out so that you build on each challenge by drawing out the anticipation for each one. I write steamy romances about real life, real pain, and real choices, with a guaranteed happy ever after for my characters. You can find my books on Amazon, Kobo, Apple Books, Barnes and Noble, and Ingram Spark.

Julie Christiansen - Publisher, Leverage U Press and Paper Kite Press

When Jaycee approached me with an idea for Feel the Love Cards, I immediately jumped on it. William Glasser of Choice Theory says that every problem is, at its heart, a relationship problem. A set of cards to prompt action or conversation to enhance deeper relationships seemed fitting. We're not the first ones to do this. I have several boxes of card decks in my practice office. These cards were created with the intention to spark intimacy, ignite passion, and fuel commitment in couples, but many challenges can be transferred to your particular relationship problem. For example - do you have trouble trusting your choices? That's an intimacy problem. Do you often say yes when you should have said no? That's a commitment problem. You've got to resolve the relationship you have with yourself if you want to have truly healthy relationships with others. We wrote a short E-book that explains the triarchic theory of love that Jaycee describes in book one of the series, Wanting. The E-book shared some tips on how to be successful in relationships and gives instructions on ways to use the cards. Our hope is that couples (or people still looking for love) will find their way to healthier, happier relationships with themselves and others. That's why we wrote it.

This is my experience with these cards:

What I absolutely love the most about this set is I got to reflect on  how I do feel reading these cards. I have an opportunity to consider if this act or challenge is for me? For me, there has been great strides in regaining some of my sexual power by reading the cards and intuitively checking in to see my comfort or understanding around each item on the card.  What I absolutely love most about these cards is the way that they center connection. There is very little to do with “having sex” and far more opportunities to reflect and get comfortable connecting. 

What I find especially interesting is, after 15 years married, there remains so much that I don’t know about my partner. One example is this card that says “Talk about the qualities that make you want to trust your partner.” When I read this card, it was such a great reminder to me that my partner is safe and helped me to understand WHY he is safe. As someone with complex trauma, feeling safe is often a challenge. I am so grateful to be able to try out these cards. Even though I am not able to act on all of them, reading them and connecting with how each makes me feel has been a really great exercise for me as I continue to heal.

I would encourage anyone who’s interested in adding to their relationship to grab a deck and try them out. Below is a link to purchase them and to get to know more about Julie and all of the incredible things she does.

Feel the Love Challenge Cards - Payhip 

Learn more about Krystal Snider and her incredibly valuable work at: Collaborative Community Solutions

Enough is Enough - How to Turn Your Life Around

My personal and professional mission is to LEVERAGE people into radical, positive, lasting change. Download a copy of my F*R*E*E E-book titled, Radial, Positive, Lasting Change today!

#changeyourlife #enough #180 #angermanagement #goals #setyourselffree

I'm Back! Time to Level Up the Conversation about Anger and Emotions

Y'all - I have been absent from my blog for a MINUTE.

It has been a wild and crazy ride. Let me give you the short version of what's happened since I signed with The Seymour Agency in 2021.

I got super busy with my psychotherapy practice. We expanded. Then we expanded again to keep up with demand.

Will Smith slapped Chris Rock. I wrote a post about it on social media. Publishers came calling. I inked a book deal with Broadleaf Books.

My practice moved into a larger space. Renovations ensued.

I finished writing I Don't Feel So Good: Emotional Mastery for Teens and Emerging Adults.

I started and finished The Rise of Rage (to be published in 2024 with Broadleaf Books) in 90 days.

One of my best friends told me his cancer was terminal. His last requests were for me to support his wife, mom, and kids through his final days, and to officiate his celebration of life service. He passed away last November. I did as he asked.

That gets me to the end of 2022. Yeah. Exactly.

Enter 2023. Speaking requests started coming in January, and they keep coming. (Fist pump goes here). It's been a rollicking year: Indian Friendship Center in Sault Ste. Marie, Future Black Female Conference, Passion Purpose and Peace Summit, Niagara Leadership Summit for Women, International Women's Day event, Mental Health Conference, 40 Under 40 Awards, and more!

So... forgive me if this blog has been neglected. But it's back now, and I'm going to be sharing my content as well as content of some of the greats in personal development, self-help, and tips/tools to help you master your emotional states and behavioral responses.

As always, my mission remains leveraging people into open communication to achieve radical positive lasting change, so they can live free of anger, tension, and fear.

Do you want to get started? Download my F*R*E*E E-book, Radical Positive Lasting Change!

hashtag#blogger hashtag#comeback hashtag#publicspeaker hashtag#keynotespeaker hashtag#ITalkALot hashtag#mycalling hashtag#livewithpurpose hashtag#freedomology hashtag#podcaster