Anger: What is it?
Anger doesn’t just show up; sure, it is something we are all born with, but it develops because of our circumstances. Understanding how anger develops is instrumental in developing safe, appropriate, and effective ways of expressing it. Let’s explore this a bit further. Although we tend to think that the visible or audible stimuli in our environment are the causes or triggers of our behaviour, the truth is those stimuli cause us to feel an emotion.
The emotion that is induced by that stimulus is the actual trigger.
Think about that for a second.
Some common causes of anger are felt emotions.
- Confusion
o Over stimulation or sensory overload
o Lack of oxygen to the brain
o Misperception of verbal communication due to poor filtering
o Misperception of physical communication
o Misinterpretation of verbal and/or physical communication due to cognitive deficit
(developmental delay, brain injury)
- Frustration
o Underrecognized presence
o Desire not being fulfilled
o Unsuccessful attraction for attention
o Inability to communicate effectively
o Frustration leads to feeling anger
- Unmet Expectations
o Reality vs. Ideals do not match
o Real world is filtered through our senses, values and experiences become the
perceived world.
o When there is enough of a discrepancy between what we WANT (ideal world)
and what we think we HAVE (perceived world), anger can develop. It may begin
with disappointment, frustration, or irritation, but the more unhappy we are with
our perceived world, the easier it will be to respond in anger.
Anger is not a behaviour. It’s an emotion. It’s a result of something else; confusion, frustration, unmet expectations. If we learn to think differently about those causes, if we learn to expand our understanding of our own self and needs, we will be able to adapt that understanding to appropriate expressions of our emotions.
