When the Roads Get HOT: How to Deal with Road Rage

The Rise of Rage by Julie A. Christiansen

Last week, I took my hubby to Burlington for some guitar shopping and dinner to celebrate his

birthday. What should have been a 35 minute drive home turned into 2.5 hours of gridlock and delays due to traffic, construction, and poor navigation choices.

It was a perfect opportunity to see road rage at work, yet there were no angry outbursts, no dangerous or aggressive drivers in sight. Given that road rage is such a HOT topic right now, here are my thoughts on why road rage occurs and why we didn't see it during 2 hours of gridlock.

Anger shows up when one or more of these four conditions are present:

1. rules are broken
2. boundaries are violated
3. needs/expectations are unmet
4. goal attainment is thwarted

This happens often when we are on the road!

I believe the reason people stayed calm during our multi-hour ordeal was this:

1. No-one was violating the rules of the road. Everyone was respectfully staying in place. A few people turned back to try to find a better alternate route, but they did so safely.
2. No boundaries were violated. There was no aggressive driving (none of us could move!), and people were being as patient as they could be given the circumstances.
3. Our need to get home was not being met, but given that traffic was clearly locked down, our expectation of a very long wait was clearly established. Because we knew and EXPECTED to be sitting in traffic for a while, there was no escalation of angry feelings. We would have only felt anger had our expectations been for a quick commute.
4. We knew that one way or another, we were going to make it home. Since we were not in a rush, and the goal was only delayed, not thwarted, we were all good, and happy to be patient.

When people decide their needs, rules, or boundaries are more important than everyone else's, that's when things can go sideways on the road.

It has been my honour and privilege to speak with the media over the several days about the realities of road rage. See the link below to read the Global News article that started it all.

My new book, The Rise of Rage is now available for pre-order at Amazon! Reserve your copy today!

The Rise of Rage by Julie A. Christiansen

Road Rage is Heating Up in Canada - Global News Report, June 28, 2023

Anger Proves to be a Time Waster

This just in By Radhika Sagar, Staff Writer for www.GulfNews.com

Published: April 11, 2009, 22:54
You feel the heat crawl up your face, your voice automatically rises a few decibels and before you know it, you are an entirely different person. When anger arrives, it leaves no room for anything else. Especially at the workplace, the emotion is a dangerous thing to possess. Today, with Gulf News Wipe Out Waste (WoW) campaign, explore the damage caused by wasted emotions. Discover how you can channel your emotions into more productive outlets.

Assuming a person stays angry for even five minutes every day, he or she loses out on 109,500 seconds of happiness in a year!

According to the British Association of Anger Management, an average Joe is stressed and angry from dawn to dusk. How many seconds of peace of mind would that cost? Well, that is best left unanswered!
Some of the everyday energy drainers include:

Office rage
45 percent staff regularly loses their temper at work. This undoubtedly leads us to other forms of office rage whereby people get annoyed with as little as their co-workers clutter or even taking stationery from their desk and not returning it! The research further shows that 60 per cent employees are dissatisfied by volume of work, level of pay and lack of praise. A soaring 50 per cent workers dislike talking loudly in the office and get easily irritated by people who gossip and spread rumours.
PC rage
50 per cent of office workers react to problems with their computer by either abusing colleagues, hitting the computer, screaming, shouting or hurling parts of the PC.But this doesn't seem enough and a further 62 percent swear or scream at their computer. A staggering 53 per cent of network managers say PC problems trigger violence from users.
Road Rage
For a change, only 1 in 140 drivers feel like doing nothing to their car or while driving when faced with anger or stress behind the wheel. But realistically 90 per cent of drivers have experienced road rage in the form of rash driving, swearing, headlight flashing and deliberate obstruction. On a lighter note, 22 per cent make angry expressions and 15 per cent mutter under their breath.
Shopping rage
Out of the 18.6 billion hours that people spend in shopping in Britain, 3 billion hours are only wasted in queuing up. This inevitably gives rise to a number of complaints for poor service and also people admitting that shopping has become stressful as it triggers arguments with their partners. No prize for guessing that, 50 per cent of shoppers become angry at being unable to park.
Classroom rage
Due to the deteriorating manners of youngsters, teachers are faced with abusive language and threats of violence on a daily basis and a shocking 40 per cent of teachers have faced some physical abuse in their career.
Phone rage
Alexander Graham Bell wouldn't be happy to know that 65 per cent of people are more likely to express anger over the phone compared to 26 per cent in writing and 9 per cent face to face.
Off the Hook
The most useful technology of all times, 'the internet' seems to be another common reason for getting irritated. About 71 per cent of users get frustrated searching the net and 12 minutes is all it takes to trigger the rage! With such levels of irritation in every household, it doesn't come as a surprise that every 1 in 3 people do not meet or speak to their neighbours. Moreover it seems to be taking a toll on working parents, as 87 per cent admit to shouting at their children due to stress.
Although anger might sometimes seem inevitable, it is necessary to have a control over your emotions. The main reason for it being the tremendous harm caused to our health. The daily rush hour driving itself causes increased anxieties. An alarming 72 per cent of office workers drink too much coffee to cope, which leads to hyperactivity and increased blood pressure.
Stress has become so common that its existence is bigger than common cold! The effects of these stresses include low energy, feeling irritated, food allergies, skin rash, difficulty sleeping, head or neck aches and anxiety attacks.
As per the American Medical Journal, 10 minutes of laughter drops blood pressure by 10 to 20 millimetres. So, say goodbye to anger and use that time to laugh.
With inputs from Mohammad Jihad, Community Web Editor

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MY COMMENTS:

Let's go back to the beginning of this article: "Assuming a person stays angry for even five minutes every day, he or she loses out on 109,500 seconds of happiness in a year!" Have you ever thought about your anger this way? To be honest, I haven't. But think about it... how much time do you spend feeling angry in a day? How much energy do you expend thinking about your anger and how you'd like to "deal with" the people or situations that incite your anger? Do you find youself wishing that you could just make it go away?

What if I told you that you can? Well - you can. But first, you must understand how anger develops.

Anger crops up when our perceived experiences do not match our expectations for the events that occur in our lives. For example: take shopping rage. You run into Walmart to grab three things. You know exactly where they are in the store. You know the make and model of each item. You have factored in the time it will take to get through the store, pick up your stuff, and cash out, and you're on a tight schedule.

But lo and behold, when you get into the store, they have moved all the departments around. It takes longer than you thought to find what you wanted. Item number three on your list isn't available in the colour and the brand that you wanted. You need to find a store clerk to help you find what you want. The clerk doesn't appear to be entirely interested in helping you. Finally you find it and you head to the cash lines, which are all full. You go to the Express Check-out since you only have 3 items, but the girl at the cash is in training, and she doesn't know how to ring items through. So - although you are in the 'fast lane' it is moving slower than ice cold molasses. Your expectations are not being met, and you can feel your frustration beginning to reach boiling point. The final straw comes when you are the next person to cash out, and the girl in training looks at you sheepishly and says, "I'm sorry sir, after this customer I have to go on break."

Can you feel it? Can you feel the frustration even as you're reading this scenario? Yeah, baby... that is how anger builds.

The key to resolving and diffusing anger lies in the stages of this scenario, and begins with the point at which you first set your expectations. What if you talked differently to yourself - gave yourself different messages? What if you decided to give yourself more time, to give the girl-in-training a break, or to just occupy yourself while you were in line so you didn't have to focus on the long lineups? Changing your perceptions and modifying your expectations is just one of the key steps to resolving one's anger.

If you'd like to know more about the Anger Solutions model of anger resolution, visit http://www.angersolution.com/faqs.php.

Anger is now a Medical Issue?

This Just In - November 11, 2007 on Google News: Road Rage has a New Name

Blame it on the stressful and hectic lifestyles we all now lead, but it seems as if everyone is losing their temper. For example, more than 5m British drivers confessed to road rage offences in a recent survey by DriveSafe, an independent road safety organisation.
Feeling angry is a natural reaction to certain circumstances, but it’s the way you respond that’s crucial. It is perfectly appropriate to point out to someone they have pushed into a queue. It is not appropriate to abuse the queue-barger.

There’s even a new name for people who can’t restrain their anger. Extreme attacks of rage are linked to a medical condition called intermittent explosive disorder (IED, which fittingly shares its initials with improvised explosive device), a condition characterised by a failure to resist aggressive impulses. Harvard and Chicago Universities, which carried out joint research on IED, claim 4% of Americans are affected by the condition, many of whom probably own guns.

There are physical signs you should look out for to prevent an attack of rage. Your mouth dries, your heart starts racing, your hands slick with sweat, your face flushes, you breathe faster and you clench muscles, especially in the jaw and fists. If you are aware of these signs, you will know to be wary. At this point, ask yourself: is your anger to do with the situation, or the result of preexisting stress? What action can I take and still be in control of the situation? Something as simple as taking 15 deep breaths in a row, each time exhaling for twice as long as you inhale, will start to relax muscles.
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There's more but I think what we have here will suffice...
This article about road rage being lumped into the medical diagnosis of Intermittent Explosive Disorder seems to imply that rather than resolve anger, now all we have to do is medicate it. I’m not sure I like where this is heading. I believe that by categorizing a normal emotional response with a certain CHOICE of behaviours - and then giving it a medical diagnosis puts our society on an ever steepening (yes - I said steepening) slippery slope towards total lack of accountability for one's actions.

For example, all the symptoms described in the article as leading toward rage are part of the natural fight or flight physiological response to stress and anger. One might easily experience all of these symptoms – but choose to internalize their anger rather than externalize it. It seems misleading to imply that these physiological cues are sure fire indicators that you are heading for a bout of rage, when in fact the "rageful" behaviours are just as much a CHOICE as it is to keep one's feelings inside.

In fact, if one is aware of his/her physiological cues, and chooses to continues toward a rageful outburst, can that truly be defined as IED? Consider that IED is characterized by a swift buildup and explosion of anger, and a quick return to baseline – typically one does not have time to become aware of or to counteract the buildup – because of cognitive impairment such as developmental delay or acquired brain injury.

To say that road ragers have a medical condition is a huge cop out I think – and perpetuates the gross misconception that anger is a disease or a dis-order rather than something that was placed in the human emotional and psychological construct as part of our normal functioning. Think about the ramifications for making road rage and other types of outbursts a "medical" condition - what kind of havoc could this wreak on the streets when people come to believe that their chosen method of anger expression is a "sickness that couldn't be helped"?

Let me be clear about something: Anger in and of itself is not a sickness! Those of you who know me well have often heard me say this – it’s not contagious, and it’s not a disease. Anger is an emotion that is as natural as happiness, sadness, or fear. However, in my sometimes cynical mind, I suppose that since we can medicate sadness (with anti-depressants), and fear (with anti-anxiety drugs), it comes as no surprise that the push is on to find medications to quell the symptoms of anger too. If they ever come out with a treatment for happiness, I think that will be the day I might have to start looking for a saner planet on which to live.