Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. On Thursday of this week, I will have another birthday (not 40 yet!)... Because I have been in a bit of a funk for the last while, my hubby arranged a surprise party for me on Friday night. My brother in law and his wife came to visit for the weekend, and we had planned a family get together for Friday evening. I never suspected a thing. My husband called me while I was out and asked me to take my daughter to Welland to pick up some stuff from the mall - I figured no way was I driving out there during rush hour. My twin boys tried desperately to get me to help them deliver their papers because it was raining - I said no way - I have a job of my own, and delivering papers is their job. I relented somewhat and drove them down the street so they wouldn't have to walk with all those papers, but then I came back home. Then my daughter tries to get me to take her to the bank - I said we would do that when we went to Welland... I was honestly starting to get annoyed that everyone wanted me to be their little chauffeur - but thought nothing more of it. Then, my brother in law wouldn't let me come into my own kitchen! That is par for the course - he always cooks when he comes to visit and never lets me in there. So I started to suspect that perhaps they were planning an anniversary surprise, since that is today and the birthday is next week... anyhow, what's my point? The point is that sometimes we get frustrated at the situations that are happening in life and they are happening for a darn good reason. But we get so caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves, that we can't see the forest for the trees. Needless to say, I was very surprised and we had a great time. Once I was on the other side of things, and everyone explained why they were trying to get me out of the house, I felt a lot better, and was truly appreciative of the effort that everyone went through.
Bottom line: everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately, life doesn't always get together to explain in detail why frustrations came your way, but eventually you'll get to the point where you understand and even appreciate the frustration in your life. So - while frustration is a bummer, sometimes - almost all the time, there is a really good reason for it.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Frustration is a Bummer
Have you ever had times in your life when nothing seems to be going right? I mean - nothing. Your stress goes through the roof because everywhere you go and everything you do seems to just backfire, or even worse - it just falls flat. That is how things have been for me for about 2 months - everyone has their dry seasons, but it still stinks! I have noticed that as my frustration builds I tend to withdraw from social situations, I am more irritable and my temper becomes very short, and everything becomes a chore. Frustration really is a bummer.
One of the things I have made a conscious effort to do throughout this process is to observe my reactions and responses to things, and to make note of what I don't like about how I am coping, and how I want to change. It embarrasses me to say it, but I find that when I am very frustrated, and feeling overwhelmed that I don't like to take ownership of my circumstances. I think this is a fairly universal human trait - that we would prefer if someone else were to blame for our situations. But one of the things I've realized as I go through this particularly dry season in my life, is that if others are to blame for my circumstances, then others will be the ones who get me out of this situation! That means that I have no control over my own destiny. That really doesn't sit right. So - I am working on taking ownership of my current circumstances, and rather than trying to lay blame, I am identifying the things I did and the choices I made that brought me to this place. And on the flip side, I am looking at what choices I can make now, that could take me to a better place in the future. There is a saying that when you change the way you look at things, things change. I'm holding on to that one with both hands. If there's one thing you can count on - things are going to change. Sometimes they change for the worse, and sometimes they change for the better.
Have you looked at www.postsecret.blogspot.com? This is a great weblog that has been turned into a book. It has gotten me thinking - the human experience is fairly common across cultures and creeds - I would love to hear what frustrates you and what makes you angry. I only have one request - please don't use profanity - that adds to my frustration level. While I may not be able to respond to your comments individually, I will most certainly comment through the blog. If ever you can't access this blog because the site is down for maintenance or whatever, please visit my website, www.angersolution.com and you can leave your comments there. Ciao for now!
One of the things I have made a conscious effort to do throughout this process is to observe my reactions and responses to things, and to make note of what I don't like about how I am coping, and how I want to change. It embarrasses me to say it, but I find that when I am very frustrated, and feeling overwhelmed that I don't like to take ownership of my circumstances. I think this is a fairly universal human trait - that we would prefer if someone else were to blame for our situations. But one of the things I've realized as I go through this particularly dry season in my life, is that if others are to blame for my circumstances, then others will be the ones who get me out of this situation! That means that I have no control over my own destiny. That really doesn't sit right. So - I am working on taking ownership of my current circumstances, and rather than trying to lay blame, I am identifying the things I did and the choices I made that brought me to this place. And on the flip side, I am looking at what choices I can make now, that could take me to a better place in the future. There is a saying that when you change the way you look at things, things change. I'm holding on to that one with both hands. If there's one thing you can count on - things are going to change. Sometimes they change for the worse, and sometimes they change for the better.
Have you looked at www.postsecret.blogspot.com? This is a great weblog that has been turned into a book. It has gotten me thinking - the human experience is fairly common across cultures and creeds - I would love to hear what frustrates you and what makes you angry. I only have one request - please don't use profanity - that adds to my frustration level. While I may not be able to respond to your comments individually, I will most certainly comment through the blog. If ever you can't access this blog because the site is down for maintenance or whatever, please visit my website, www.angersolution.com and you can leave your comments there. Ciao for now!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
What's breakfast got to do with anger?
Apparently, a whole lot. My breakfast meeting with WHY Club was interesting. WHY stands for "We Help You" - it is a networking group that meets once per week for breakfast and to exchange ideas for generating business in the form of leads. Each week they have a speaker, and I was honored to be invited to address the group. The weather was horrible (thunder, lightning, torrential downpours), but there was a fairly good turnout nonetheless. I talked about my business, BODA reLEAF consulting, and our focus on team development, anger and stress management and communication.
Right away, someone said - "you should talk to the fire department" - the St. Catharines fire department is in a bitter dispute with its fire chief. Others said, "you should be really busy!" I agree - I should be really busy. Not because people are SO messed up, but because anger is a part of everyday life, and one that we tend to ignore because of the negative stigma attached to it.
I think half the battle of getting business to realize just how important a topic like anger could be to their bottom line is awareness. By doing presentations like the one I did for WHY, I am slowly getting the word out to businesses of all sizes that anger, stress, poor communication, and low performing teams will have a detrimental effect on the bottom line profits of any business. And this doesn't just apply to business... What's the number one thing couples argue about? MONEY. What is the number one reason couples actually end up in divorce? LACK OF COMMUNICATION. It's funny how we know this, but still don't see the need for learning more effective communication skills.
Did you know that Canada is the fourth most dangerous country to work in because of workplace violence? Betcha you didn't... Anger and stress can lead to people behaving in ways they never thought possible; still employers hesitate to admit they could have a problem with workplace violence. The reason again, is that they don't want to have negative stigma attached to their organization. However, just as it is in personal rehab, admission that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Businesses need to be proactive if they are to reduce their risk for workplace violence, and to ensure that their human resources are functioning at peak performance levels.
My new e-book, Crazy Busy, talks all about this challenge and how progressive businesses can begin to turn the tide. If you would like a copy, please email me at info@angersolution.com, or of course, you can just post a comment to this blog site. Have a good one! I'll be back with more ramblings about anger and other stuff.
Right away, someone said - "you should talk to the fire department" - the St. Catharines fire department is in a bitter dispute with its fire chief. Others said, "you should be really busy!" I agree - I should be really busy. Not because people are SO messed up, but because anger is a part of everyday life, and one that we tend to ignore because of the negative stigma attached to it.
I think half the battle of getting business to realize just how important a topic like anger could be to their bottom line is awareness. By doing presentations like the one I did for WHY, I am slowly getting the word out to businesses of all sizes that anger, stress, poor communication, and low performing teams will have a detrimental effect on the bottom line profits of any business. And this doesn't just apply to business... What's the number one thing couples argue about? MONEY. What is the number one reason couples actually end up in divorce? LACK OF COMMUNICATION. It's funny how we know this, but still don't see the need for learning more effective communication skills.
Did you know that Canada is the fourth most dangerous country to work in because of workplace violence? Betcha you didn't... Anger and stress can lead to people behaving in ways they never thought possible; still employers hesitate to admit they could have a problem with workplace violence. The reason again, is that they don't want to have negative stigma attached to their organization. However, just as it is in personal rehab, admission that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Businesses need to be proactive if they are to reduce their risk for workplace violence, and to ensure that their human resources are functioning at peak performance levels.
My new e-book, Crazy Busy, talks all about this challenge and how progressive businesses can begin to turn the tide. If you would like a copy, please email me at info@angersolution.com, or of course, you can just post a comment to this blog site. Have a good one! I'll be back with more ramblings about anger and other stuff.
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