Sunday, March 30, 2008

Why Hurry if You’ve Got No Place to Go?

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This is another chapter from my new book, The ABCs of Stress Management (working title), to be released this April. If you'd like to pre-order a copy, please visit http://www.angersolution.com/announcements.php to download your pre-order form.
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A 2002 study by the University of Chicago found that they have found a correlation between having a sense of time urgency and impatience (TUI) and an increased risk of developing hypertension or high blood pressure. We all know that hypertension is a significant risk factor for heart disease, stroke and many other health problems. It has been dubbed, the "silent killer." According to government statistics, 50 million Americans have high blood pressure and one-third of those don't know it.

For a short time when our kids were growing up, we experimented with having hamsters. Our first hamster was named Cody. A cute little thing with beady eyes, Cody was a little high strung. He was an incredible escape artist, and once lived for a week outside of his cage, having broken out, and crawled through a small hole in the floor that we had drilled for the TV cable to come up from the basement. Cody’s downfall (pardon the pun) was his love for the hamster wheel. He couldn’t resist the thing – in fact, we sometimes had to take it out of the cage because he would run on it for hours. But when Cody escaped from his cage, we realized that we could use Cody’s love of spinning to our advantage.

My husband moved the cage downstairs to the basement to a prominent place where he knew Cody would find it. Then, he put a piece of fresh fruit in the cage, on the wheel, knowing that once Cody got on the wheel, he wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to run. Then, he rigged the wheel to the cage door, so that once Cody started running, the door would slam shut and he would be caught. It worked like a charm, and before you could say, “fresh fruit”, Cody was back in his cage, spinning happily on his wheel.

Sadly, not long afterwards, we found Cody lying limp and lifeless in his cage; he had literally run himself to death on the wheel.

I have often thought about Cody and his sad little life. He knew only one week of freedom, in which he could run and hide, and explore the great big world of “basement” before he was back in the little restrictive bubble of his cage. Yet, he had the wheel, and as long as he was running on the wheel, I suppose he felt he was getting somewhere. Too bad that he spent so much time rushing, rushing, spinning the wheel faster and faster, only to find that the thing he thought he loved was the death of him.

How many of us are just like Cody? Rushing from one place to the next – even when we are on time, and we are not even going anywhere special; we don’t have a deadline looming; we don’t even have anyone’s expectations to meet – and we still hurry along, spinning that wheel faster and faster… Is it possible that even with our highly evolved brains, we are nothing more than hamsters on a wheel, plagued by Hurry Sickness, and inadvertently killing ourselves with our need to run?

As I was thinking of Cody and writing this chapter, it occurred to me: If you’re going to hurry, you better have somewhere to go. It would be a shame if at the end of your life, you were to look back and realize that for all the pushing, shoving, rushing, and hurrying, that you never accomplished your goals, or got to the destination you had in mind.

John Brunner’s book The Shock Wave Rider talks about the effects of “future shock” as developments in technology take place faster than the human being can adjust. Hurry Sickness is an effect of “future shock” – as the world speeds up, human beings are expected to speed up with it; however, the consequence of this ever gaining speed is an inherent frustration and irritation with others who may not be moving as quickly!

Hurry sickness is defined as “a malaise where a person feels chronically short of time, and so tends to perform every task faster and to get flustered when encountering any kind of delay.” In his book, Faster, James Gleick says, “The microwave oven is one of the modern objects that convey the most elemental feeling of power over the passing seconds. You watch those seconds, after all, as they tick past on the digital display. If you suffer from hurry sickness in its most advanced stages, you may find yourself punching eighty-eight seconds instead of ninety because it is faster to tap the same digit twice.”
Does this sound like you? Are you constantly stressing over how you can shave off a second here, or a minute there? Does the old figure of speech, “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?” make perfect sense to you? Perhaps your nickname should be Cody.

If you’re ready to get off the wheel and slow down your pace of living, here are some simple tips that can help:

Prioritize! We are often plagued by the urgency of the insignificant; before you know it, you can blow a whole day just by putting out fires while all the important tasks remain undone. Focus on the important things rather than the urgent; let go of or delegate dealing with the urgent so that you will not feel as overwhelmed.

Practice Slowing Down. When driving on the highway, put your car on cruise control rather than trying to keep up with the flow of traffic. When you watch other harried drivers whizzing by, smile and remind yourself that by laying off the gas pedal, you can relax and enjoy the process of getting from point A to B. Think about this, Americans place sex as one of their favorite pastimes, but on average devote only 4 minutes to the activity! Perhaps this is another area in which you might want to slow down. Remember, life and love isn’t just about the destination – the journey needs to be enjoyable as well!

Breathe deeply and exchange oxygen for carbon dioxide. Clean air refreshes the brain so it can function more efficiently, helping you to make better decisions and fewer mistakes.

Take time outs. Five minutes of doing nothing seems like an eternity to people with hurry sickness. Taking a few minutes for some shut-eye, deep breathing, relaxation, or meditation can refresh you with enough energy to keep you going for a couple of more hours.

Do one thing at a time! Our society has become one of multi-tasking. We eat or talk on the cell phone while driving (a big no-no), we take our work with us on vacation, we use the Blackberry to send “important” messages while watching our kids play hockey… It is a myth that we can accomplish more by doing more than one thing at a time. We just end up feeling as though we have worked hard, and usually have no completed work to show for it! Focus on only one task at a time; you will accomplish more, and feel less stressed.

Revise your expectations of immediacy. Just because you want to live your life at the speed of sound doesn’t mean everyone else has to. Don’t take it personally if you have to wait. That’s just life!

Ask yourself, “do I have to do this… or do I choose to do this?” When you CHOOSE your activities, it puts you back in control of your life. You can choose to do what is important, and choose to say “no” when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Choose to respond to frustrations in a way that preserves your integrity and keeps you and those around you safe.

Take a vacation! Studies show that regular vacations can prolong your life and increase your cardiovascular health. People who are addicted to life in the fast lane will tell you that you can’t afford to take a vacation… The truth is – you can’t afford NOT to!

I recently asked a client of mine, who is a self-professed workaholic, “Do you live to work, or do you work so you can live?” She replied, “I live to work, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.” I’m guessing that there are countless others out there who feel exactly the same way.

I suppose there is nothing wrong with living to work, except for the fact that working is a means to an end, not the end itself. Once you have finished all your work, what will be left? At the end of your life, do you really want them writing, “She worked really hard” or “He really knew how to run that wheel” on your tombstone? Or would you like to be remembered for the legacy of love, charity, poignant memories, laughter or friendship that you left behind? Think about that the next time you’re running the wheel with no place to go… Step off. Plot out your destination. Plan your route, and then take time to enjoy the journey.