Face Your
Fears
I have heard fear described in this way: “False
Expectations Appearing Real”. In other words, fear is the culmination of those
things you anticipate could happen, but never do that constitute fear. Just as faith is
described as a belief or a certainty that something positive or good will
happen, fear is the belief or certainty that the worst will happen.
Would you rather live your life in
anticipation, or in trepidation? Fear has got to be one of the worst feelings
in the world to experience. While fear
has its place, it does not always serve us well.
On a trip to Newfoundland with a large
group of friends, one of our group decided to take us on a tour of his old
stomping grounds. We followed him off the highway down a narrow dirt road,
shrouded by bushes and saplings. After we had all parked, he started us off
down a dirt trail and into the bush. He didn’t tell us where we were headed,
just “someplace he had to show us”. Although we were a little concerned with
his secrecy, we kept on following because we trusted him. Not 500 meters into
the trail, he stopped and pointed down. “Take a look at this,” he said,
pointing to a fresh bear track in the moist dirt. “That’s fresh – but don’t worry.
It is a small bear – likely a cub. If he’s with his mother, they won’t come
near us.”
For a moment, I felt that familiar
sensation of fear rising in my gut, and I could tell I wasn’t alone. After all,
my three kids were with me, along with a whole bunch of other people’s kids! As
if on cue, he turned to us and said, “Look, I grew up hanging out in this bush.
If I say you’ve got nothing to worry about, you’ve got nothing to worry about!
I promise you, this hike is going to be worth it.” So we put our fears aside,
trusted his judgment, and forged ahead. We hiked the trail, heading uphill for
several more minutes and soon came to a clearing, where there was a pool of
shallow fresh water surrounded by a mix of cruciferous and deciduous trees. The
pool was being fed by a gentle waterfall. The water was so clear and sparkling
that immediately several of the teens in our group including my own kids
decided to kick off their shoes and wander in. We thought this was the treat
our friend had brought us to see. Instead, he called to us that we had to keep
going further into the bush because there was more.
More? By now, we had not just faced our
fear of the long forgotten bear cub and his hungry mama, we were entranced with
the thrill of the climb – what else might we find on our hike into the bush? As
we ventured higher and higher, I could hear something like wind rustling
through the trees. We got closer and suddenly below us was a thundering
waterfall – an absolutely beautiful sight! The water was rumbling down over a
rock face, into a pool below, which then fed the stream that eventually settled
at the pool we had only just seen. From where we were standing, we could feel
the intensity and the sheer force of the water as it cascaded the rocks, and
our faces were kissed with the mist rising from the flow.
Needless to say, after several pictures,
dips in the rock pool, and minutes of video footage, we all reluctantly agreed
to leave this beautiful spot, and return to our cars. Remarkably, on the way
back down the trail, we all carefully stepped over the bear track – some even
paused to take pictures of it up close – all without experiencing any fear at
all. Isn’t it remarkable that one person’s interpretation of an experience is
enough to dissipate the fear response? Perhaps had our friend not been our
guide that day, we would have ventured no further, and we would have missed out
on experiencing a majestic view of nature up close and personal.
What are you afraid of? Does that fear serve you, or does it control
you? If you do not learn to master fear,
then fear will become your master. Wouldn’t you rather be in control?
Let me share a tool that will help you to
face your fears on a conscious, intentional level. Ask yourself these questions:
- What
is happening right now?
- How
do I feel about what is happening right now?
- What
does this event mean to me? What impact does it have on my life
immediately? What is the lifetime value of this event?
- How
would I like this to turn out? (What outcome do I want?)
- What
can I do to create the outcome(s) I desire?
- What
have I been doing so far when situations like this come up?
- Has
my current plan of action been working? If yes, why – If no, why not?
- What
is the worst thing that could happen if I try a new approach to this
challenge?
- What
is the best thing that could happen if I try a new approach to this
challenge?
- What
is my plan of action based on everything I know now?
