Denise Marek Interviews Julie Christiansen, Author of "Anger Solutions"

Kids Need Help Resolving Anger and Conflict

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This just in from Naomi Drew, of the Philadelphia Examiner, National survey results: Kids want solutions to bullying and conflict
August 14th, 2010 5:07 pm

Eight to twelve year-olds across the country revealed, in a recently-released survey, that bullying, conflict, and meanness weighed heavy on their hearts and minds. 2171 kids throughout the US were asked to share their personal stories of bullying and conflict in a survey conducted by Naomi Drew in conjunction with Free Spirit Publishing. Across the board, what the children shared was surprisingly frank, sometimes heartbreakingly so. “I try to ignore conflicts, but if I can’t I just hurt,” said a 5th grade girl. A 6th grade boy who was cornered by a gang of kids in his school hallway wrote: “They ripped up my science book, took my hat, and laughed at me. I was so mad I went to my locker and sobbed.”



An overwhelming number of the students surveyed expressed their desire for positive change. 80% said they wanted to learn ways to end bullying, avoid fights, get along better with peers, and work out conflicts. Many felt overwhelmed by the meanness of their peers. An 11 year-old boy who was being bullied daily said, “It just makes me want to die.” With the spate of recent youth suicides that have been in the headlines, words like these can’t be ignored.

73% of the kids surveyed said other kids are somewhat to very mean. “I’ve been through a lot,” wrote a 4th grade boy. “Kids don’t like the way I look. They call me names and kick me. I am so sick of being picked on.”

Conflict is another major issue for kids. Almost 50% see conflicts happening often, every day, or all the time. 68% said being teased or made fun of is the number one source of their conflicts in their lives, and 64% listed name-calling as the cause of their conflicts. A 10 year old girl wrote, “Kids called me names every day. It got uncomfortable to be at school.” How about these break-your-heart words from a 9 year-old, “People call me names and make fun of me because I don’t have a mom.”

It’s clear from the survey that kids want and need change. Teachers want change too. A fourth grade teacher from New Jersey who responded to the survey wrote, “Anger and bullying are among the major issues I see as a teacher.” With character education programs being cut left and right, and No Child Left Behind turning our schools into testing machines, it’s time for priorities to shift. We need to stop focusing so much on test results, and do a lot more to help kids learn in an atmosphere of peace and emotional safety. In the words of a 10 year-old survey participant, “I wish there was a way to clean up this mess and find a way to make peace.”

Anger Solutions for Kids (AS4K) is a tool that was developed for precisely this purpose - to help teach school-aged children how to resolve anger and conflict, and to minimize the impact of bullying. Visit our website: http://www.angersolution.com/angersolutionsforkids.php to learn more about the program if you are already a Certified Anger Solutions Provider, or contact us at 1-866-754-6169 to learn how you can become an Anger Solutions for Kids Facilitator.

See the original version of this story at http://www.examiner.com/bullying-in-philadelphia/national-survey-results-kids-want-solutions-to-bullying-and-conflict-1

Five Brands of a Powerful Team

Any team that produces and functions effectively has certain positive characteristics. Here are FIVE markers of a peak performing team:

1) A strong leader who both directs and empowers the team. S/he identifies the strengths in each team player, and encourages each player to utilize his or her strengths to help accomplish the team’s common mission.

2) A willingness to work together for the common good of the team. Let’s face it, in the world of business; much more can be accomplished when people work together towards the same goal. What good is it if one player gets ahead while the whole company suffers? In the end, all the players may lose (financial rewards, promotions, recognition, and perhaps even their jobs), including the one who was “top dog” for a moment.

3) Everyone has his or her own opportunity to shine. A true team understands that each player brings a unique strength or group of qualities to the table. At difficult meetings, the diplomatic player goes to work. In tough negotiations, the sharp negotiator has the opportunity to do what s/he does best. When making presentations, the fearless orator should be the one to take the stage. For planning events or breaking down tasks for goal completion, the most organized player has the chance to utilize his or her skills.

4) Praise is a common occurrence. Real team players notice other team members doing things right, and encourage one another. Can you imagine the Leafs at the Stanley Cup playoffs, yelling at their own players, and encouraging them to fail? Never! Team players stick together, knowing that they are working together to achieve an outcome that will be beneficial for ALL.

5) Communication flows in all directions. Not only is communication open, but it is appropriate. Team members use assertive language, share what needs to be shared, and trust the other players to do the same. Email, phone, MSN, and text are not abused. Behaviours and language that proves detrimental to the overall functioning of the team are discouraged by the leaders, and feedback is given frequently – both for areas that need improvement, as well as when team players are caught doing something right.

Here's to all the high performing, cohesive teams out there!

If you would like to know more about how to develop a high performing, powerful team, call 1-866-754-6169 and ask about our Extreme Team Building program! www.angersolution.com