Getting Past the Past: Free Yourself

 
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free..."

We are all aware of the truths about our pasts as well as our present. It is human nature to avoid the truth, since the truth is usually not what what we want people to see.

The first step to forgetting your past is to own up to it. Did you used to lie for a living? Were you a career criminal? A less-than-reputable citizen? Perhaps your past is not so sordid, but you made mistakes, did things, said things that you are not proud of. Would the person you are NOW want to know the person you were THEN? Who have you hurt? Who hurt you? By exploring these and other questions, you can identify what is true about your past. Take some time and make a lsit of answers to these questions I've just put to you.

Once you have identified the truth, you should then ask yourself questions like, "How has this past hurt or past experience contributed to who I am today?"

"What were the positive effects or outcomes that resulted from those events in my past?"
"What were the negative effects or outcomes...?"

Saint Paul tells of his history (an educated man, a religious man, but also a murderous zealot who had countless new Christians - both men and women - put to death, and calls himself "chief of all sinners"). But he follows this horrible litany of his past misdeeds by saying, "This one thing I do - forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching for those things which are before, I press toward the mark...". He acknowledges his past and then he does something amazing. He lets it go!

The freedom Saint Paul found to live his new life came from accepting and acknowledging the TRUTH about himself rather than denying it. Had he denied the truth, he would have undermined his credibility. Everyone (every Christian in his day) knew who he was and what he had done. His reputation preceded him everywhere he went. Denying the truth about his past would have made him a hypocrite.

What truths have you been denying about yourself? How is that denial interfering with your becoming the person you want to be? How can you press toward something, if you are continually looking or reaching backward?

Perhaps it is time to face your truth. Then forgive yourself. If you need forgiveness from others, ask for it. But remember you cannot expect others to forgive you if you can't forgive yourself. The future is waiting and it is brighter than you ever imagined. Face the truth about your past, and you will be free to confidently explore the brave new world that is your future.

Transcribed from the audio program, Getting Past Your Past, by Julie A. Christiansen, M.A. Available now at www.angersolution.com $49.95 for 2 CD set with workbook.

Anger Solutions now available in EBOOK format

Happy New Year!

I am very excited to announce that my most popular book, Anger Solutions: Proven Strategies for Effectively Resolving Anger and Taking Control of Your Emotions, is now available in EBook format. Thanks to the amazing folks at Smashwords Publishing (www.smashwords.com), you can now purchase and download the e-version of this book for your Kindle, Kobo, PDF reader, or other e-book reader format that you desire. 

The E-version of the book is much more affordable than the print version for a couple of reasons (only $5.99 USD)- first, it is an e-version and much less costly to produce -  no printing, shipping, or packaging costs are required on my end, and I can pass that savings on to you! Second, some of the content that was contained in the appendix of the print version is now out of date, or no longer needed in a digital version. Contact information for crisis lines across Canada, along with information about eating disorder clinics, grief counseling, partner assault response programs, etc., are readily available via the Internet. Readers are still encouraged to avail themselves of these resources; however, the listings from the print version were deleted for the e-version. Lastly, we have updated the bibliography and included complete references for the sources that informed the book. In all, the page count has been reduced to about 90 pages; however, the full content from all the chapters is there for your reading enjoyment.

Please tell your friends, and visit www.smashwords.com today to get your copy of Anger Solutions for your favourite e-reader.

If you still prefer PRINT, have no fear! You can still order a print version of Anger Solutions from our online store: http://store.angersolution.com.

How to get past your past

Getting past the past requires focused attention and energy. Many of

the people that I have counseled over the years have come to me with issues stemming from the past: anger at past abuses or past events, unresolved grief over past losses, and fear of the future because of past failures or rejections. I find that people struggle too, with their past history. It is like excess baggage that they carry from relationship to relationship; from job to job; and from crisis to crisis. This baggage can be both a burden and a friend; I actually had a client who described her baggage as her “friend”. It had become so familiar that she had forgotten what it was like to exist without carrying the burden of the past around with her. This excess baggage called “the past” interferes with your ability to have quality relationships. It interferes with your ability to achieve personal success. It interferes with your ability to live a healthy, happy, and fulfilled life.

The goal then is to find a way to put the past in the past. Do you remember the Greek myth of the god, Atlas, who carried the world on his shoulders? Your goal is to be like Atlas, only choose to shrug off the weight. You see, no one puts the responsibility of carrying that weight on you but yourself. We humans bottle our anger, contain our grief, then suddenly we find ourselves developing physical illness or feeling emotionally unstable, and we wonder how we got this way.

Through the process of examining this issue of the past, I realize that there are really two things that must happen in order for the past to stay in the past where it belongs. First the events of the past need to be forgotten. All too often, we dredge up memories from the past and relate them to events in the present. In reality, the past event may have nothing to do with what is happening now. But we take the emotions from those memories, whether they are happiness, sadness, fear, anxiety, and depression; and, we attach them to events of the present, thus hindering our ability to function effectively in the here and now. So, we need to find a way to leave those past events in the past through forgetting.

The next skill we must master is that of letting go. Again, if you think of the image of excess baggage, when you have your hands full of stuff and it is weighing you down, all you have to do is let some go, and immediately your load will lighten. Through a greater understanding of the processes of forgetting and letting go, you will be able to move beyond your past and develop a more optimistic outlook on your future.

How to order Getting Past Your Past

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