Anger Myth #3 Anger Should Be Controlled

If anger is an emotion, then it follows that we should be free to express our anger as freely as we express our other basic emotions.  No one thinks it odd that humans express their happiness, sadness or fear.  Yet the popular belief remains that anger if expressed can only lead to “bad things”.  In my seminars I have heard it explained this way, “Anger is dangerous…”, “Anger is sinful…”, “Showing your anger doesn’t help you in the end…”  Think about this: unexpressed anger has its repercussions as well.  Not expressing anger can hold far more consequences for the angry person in the way of ongoing emotional problems as a result of the unresolved feelings.  We also know that unresolved, unexpressed anger can lead to a wide range of physical problems such as ulcers, high blood pressure, migraines, heart disease and stroke, to name only a few.

If you're ready to learn more about anger, why not grab a copy of my book, Anger Solutions: Proven Strategies for Resolving Anger and Taking Control of Your Emotions! Your transformation is within reach! 

Stop Being "Judgy"! Anger is Not Bad

Myth No. 2: Anger is BAD

Well… Yeah!  If anger is behaviour, then of course it is bad -- that goes without saying.  If anger equals hitting, yelling, screaming, slamming doors, and all the other behaviours we see as negative, then no wonder we see anger as bad.  The truth is, experiencing the emotion of anger in and of itself is not “bad”, although the ways we choose to express anger can sometimes be labelled as “bad” or “unacceptable”. 

        Have you been conceptualizing anger as a behaviour - a BAD behaviour? Time to re-think this! Keep an eye on this thread to see what else about anger just isn't true.

#angermanagement #angersolutions 

It's Not True! Anger is not Behavior

Myths about Anger - A thread

Myth 1: Anger is behaviour

I know you are likely getting tired of reading this over and over again, but a wise man said, “Repetition is the mother of skill”.  So hear this again: Anger is NOT behaviour!  Anger is experienced as a negative emotion, one of the basic four emotions that we as humans experience: happy, sad, mad, and afraid.  We do not do happy, or sad or afraid.  Why then should we expect to do anger?  We do not use the term, “I’m getting happy!” on a regular basis, but it is not unusual for one to say, “I’m getting mad at you!” 

Tradition says that anger is what we see, and it is a mask for more "primary" emotions that lie beneath the surface. This is not true! Anger is, in fact, a basic emotion that emerges as early as the first year of life. The reality is that anger is NOT what we see. We see scowling, grimacing, we hear yelling or swearing, we hear verbal abuse, we see doors slamming, erratic driving, or aggressive, intimidating actions. What we SEE is behavior.

I have found the myth that anger is behavior to be the most widely believed in our society.  It is what I call a “foundational” belief, because almost every other myth that exists about anger rests upon this first one.  It is imperative that we go right to the heart of the matter and change this foundational belief.  Once this myth is dispelled, the other myths will melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Would you like to know more about anger and how to resolve it safely and appropriately? My book, Anger Solutions: Proven Strategies for Effectively Resolving Anger and Taking Control of Your Emotions remains available for a limited time! Grab your copy before they're all gone.