Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas to All!

I love this time of year because it is an opportunity to share in the joys of the season with those we love. It is also a time for me to reflect on the many blessings I have received and the lessons I have learned. Since my teenage years, I have always taken stock of my life right around the end of the year. Sometimes I didn't like what I saw when I looked back on my year - there were times when I realized that I had allowed other people to dictate my personality and my behaviour, and there were times that I was truly disappointed in myself. BUT - there were other times - that occured more frequently that I looked back and wondered, "How did I ever manage to accomplish that?"

This year I finally completed a task that I set out to accomplish in the fall of 2008 - that is the completion of my Masters Degree. I only wish my Mom could have been here to celebrate with me, but I know she was with me, encouraging me every step of the way. Now that my schooling (at least this stage of it) is finished, I am looking forward to new projects: research, more books, new program development, teaching, and of course, speaking engagements. Lets not forget too - the value of spending time with family and taking time for faith.

Since first going through the process of reflection and goal setting for the year to come, I have become more focused, more confident, and more determined to be the person that I believe God created me to be. My challenge to you this holiday season is to engage in a process of reflection and renewal for yourself. Take a look at what you have accomplished and how you have exceeded your own expectations. Then look ahead and begin to plan today for the life you want to create tomorrow. It was Henry Ford who said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." What will you choose to be right about in this coming year?

From the depths of my heart, I would like to wish all my family, friends, colleagues, and partners the very best this Christmas, and may all the joy of the season be yours.

Anger Solutions in Action: E+R=O, A true story of LIFE SAVING change!

One of my coaching clients recently shared this story with me – and it clearly demonstrates the power of the equation made famous by Jack Canfield:

E+R=O (Event + Response = Outcome).

Several years ago, my client was vacationing with friends and they decided to go cave diving. Now – this is an activity that is not for the weak-minded or the claustrophobic. They were in full scuba gear, under water (of course) AND under ground. Imagine swimming in the dark, surrounded by water and rock. The four men were navigating a tunnel and my client was bringing up the rear. As he was maneuvering through the tunnel, he got stuck on a stalactite that impeded his movement.

I want you to think about what this must have felt like in that moment. It is cold and dark. Your friends have gone ahead and have no idea that you have been left behind or that there is any kind of trouble. You’re stuck in a tight space with limited mobility of your arms, and on top of that, you are underwater. You have no method of communication, and a limited supply of air. What would you do?

Finding himself trapped in this literal hole, my client realized that he had three options:
1. Panic – and die
2. Do nothing – and die
3. Calm down, find a way to get free, and live.

Which option do you think he chose?
When the panic died down and he had evaluated the situation more rationally, he was able to focus on the problem at hand. If there was a way he had become stuck, then by undoing that motion, he could get unstuck. That is exactly what he did. Using small, controlled, subtle movements, he was able to free his gear from the obstruction, and by changing his positioning as carefully as he could, he was able to clear the tunnel – living to tell the tale.

What do you do when faced with stressful situations? Do you panic? Do you shut down? Either of these responses will result in death – perhaps not literal death, but the death of the dream, goal, objective, or purpose that you were pursuing up until the point of crisis.

There is an inherent lesson in my client’s story. The Event was that he found himself stuck. This was his crisis point. If Events alone determined our outcomes, I wouldn’t be telling you this story today. My client would have died in that cave, and I never would have met him. What determined his outcome was his response.

It is important to note too, that he could not change anything about the event itself. He could not somehow magically drain the water out of the cave. He could not move the rock wall to make the space wider for him to get through. The only thing he could change or control was HIMSELF.

This is true for you as well. When you are faced with crisis (financial, mental, physical, or relational) your response will decide how things work out for you. If you panic in the face of challenges – your outcome will be very different than if you rationally seek solutions to your problems. When you find yourself “stuck” in an impossible situation, remember: you have three options. Panic – and die. Do nothing – and die. OR calm down, find a way to get free, and live.

Anger Solutions for High Stress Situations

I'll tell you what, sometimes stress creeps up on you and other times it smacks you right in the face with a cast iron frying pan. The "creepy" stress is often recognized as "hassles", and some research indicates that the hassle factor is often what creates the feeling of cumulative stress in the body. Stress can also be induced by single events that have a significant meaning, and often come attached with intense emotional responses. What happens when these two intersections meet?

Two words: Shut Down.

How do you get back on your feet after being blindsided by both the daily hassles of life and a major "catastrophic event"?

Here are some steps that can help:

1. Rest. When the stress response overloads the body, it can be a jarring shock to the system. The fight or flight response exists to serve you in the face of impending danger, and should only last for a few seconds - minutes at best. But when you are in a heightened state of extreme stress for hours or perhaps even days, the body has no time to recover and to return to its normal state. This creates an intense energy drain, causing muscle weakness, pain in the joints, headaches, elevated heart rate and blood pressure, increases in sugar and cholesterol production, shortness of breath, and a host of other physiological symptoms. The best way to help your parasympathetic nervous system to do its job is to rest your body so that it can settle all of these responses down and bring you back to baseline. Go to bed. Lay down on the couch. Relax on the porch. Rest.




2. Drink lots of water and breathe deeply. Two things your body needs desperately in order to survive and thrive are water and oxygen. When you are in a heightened state of stress, the body is deprived of both. You must replenish these losses as quickly as possible or else you will continue to experience headaches, nausea, upset stomach, irritability, insomnia, confusion/short-attention, and breathing problems. So, always remember to hydrate and oxygenate!




3. Exercise. Do this whatever way is comfortable for you, but if possible, get outdoors. A hike in the woods or walking along a waterway is incredibly calming and has a way of speeding the parasympathetic response into doing its job. Be sure to warm up and cool down, and to stretch those tired, achy muscles. It will do wonders.




4. Meditate on what is good in your life. The longer you focus on what is stressing you out, the worse you will feel, and the longer you will stay in sympathetic response. Think on things that make you feel good, bring you joy, or that inspire your hope for the future. Focus on what is positive about these current stressors, and BREATHE. Breathe in hope and optimism - breathe out tension and fear. Let everything come back to its right balance.

Follow through on these simple steps and soon your body will stop reeling from the stress and will be back in fine form to face the challenges of the day once again.

For more tips like these on how to cope with stress, purchase a copy of my new book, When the Last Straw Falls: 30 Ways to Keep Stress From Breaking Your Back. $24.95 - available exclusively at www.angersolution.com/laststraw.php.