Anger Solutions for High Stress Situations

I'll tell you what, sometimes stress creeps up on you and other times it smacks you right in the face with a cast iron frying pan. The "creepy" stress is often recognized as "hassles", and some research indicates that the hassle factor is often what creates the feeling of cumulative stress in the body. Stress can also be induced by single events that have a significant meaning, and often come attached with intense emotional responses. What happens when these two intersections meet?

Two words: Shut Down.

How do you get back on your feet after being blindsided by both the daily hassles of life and a major "catastrophic event"?

Here are some steps that can help:

1. Rest. When the stress response overloads the body, it can be a jarring shock to the system. The fight or flight response exists to serve you in the face of impending danger, and should only last for a few seconds - minutes at best. But when you are in a heightened state of extreme stress for hours or perhaps even days, the body has no time to recover and to return to its normal state. This creates an intense energy drain, causing muscle weakness, pain in the joints, headaches, elevated heart rate and blood pressure, increases in sugar and cholesterol production, shortness of breath, and a host of other physiological symptoms. The best way to help your parasympathetic nervous system to do its job is to rest your body so that it can settle all of these responses down and bring you back to baseline. Go to bed. Lay down on the couch. Relax on the porch. Rest.




2. Drink lots of water and breathe deeply. Two things your body needs desperately in order to survive and thrive are water and oxygen. When you are in a heightened state of stress, the body is deprived of both. You must replenish these losses as quickly as possible or else you will continue to experience headaches, nausea, upset stomach, irritability, insomnia, confusion/short-attention, and breathing problems. So, always remember to hydrate and oxygenate!




3. Exercise. Do this whatever way is comfortable for you, but if possible, get outdoors. A hike in the woods or walking along a waterway is incredibly calming and has a way of speeding the parasympathetic response into doing its job. Be sure to warm up and cool down, and to stretch those tired, achy muscles. It will do wonders.




4. Meditate on what is good in your life. The longer you focus on what is stressing you out, the worse you will feel, and the longer you will stay in sympathetic response. Think on things that make you feel good, bring you joy, or that inspire your hope for the future. Focus on what is positive about these current stressors, and BREATHE. Breathe in hope and optimism - breathe out tension and fear. Let everything come back to its right balance.

Follow through on these simple steps and soon your body will stop reeling from the stress and will be back in fine form to face the challenges of the day once again.

For more tips like these on how to cope with stress, purchase a copy of my new book, When the Last Straw Falls: 30 Ways to Keep Stress From Breaking Your Back. $24.95 - available exclusively at www.angersolution.com/laststraw.php.

Building Resiliency - a Stress Management Strategy

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.


Building Resiliency

Have you ever been lost? I mean really lost – out in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone, no map, no GPS, and no service station or farm-house where you can stop and ask directions? Have you ever felt that sense of sheer panic and helplessness?

Imagine… the wave of nausea that hits you like a wall of bricks when you realize you have no idea where you are. You have no one with you, you can see no recognizable landmarks, and the more you try to find your way, the more you realize that you keep ending up in a place that looks exactly like where you were 2 hours ago. Can you feel it? The anxiety? The heart inside of you beating its way out of your chest – the sweat as it beads on your forehead – the tightening of your stomach as you sit at the crossroads, searching furtively from unmarked country road to unmarked country road, trying to figure out which way to turn?

That is what it is like to have no resiliency.

Resiliency. The ability to bounce back. The Psychology Foundation of Canada identifies four key components that together create resiliency:
1. Feeling like you belong – having a support system,
2. Being able to deal effectively with one’s emotions,
3. Having good problem-solving skills and feeling like you have control in your life, and
4. Having a positive, optimistic attitude.

Imagine again, that you are back in the above situation – desperately lost, in the middle of nowhere, wondering where to turn. Now imagine that someone you love, trust, and depend on is in the vehicle with you. S/he is bending over a map of the county, trying to figure out where you are. How does it feel now? Do you feel safer? Would you be able to manage your anxiety better? Now imagine that your friend or family member has a smart phone with a built in GPS. Even if there is no signal in this no-man’s land where you are now, you know that if you can get someplace where there is a signal, you can get your bearings. Does this help you to feel more reassured? Now, what if in your glove box, there was a compass, so that you could figure out what direction you were headed? Between the map and the compass, and the support of your friend, do you think you might have a better chance of finding your way? I dare say you might!

When you’re on your own, it’s like being without a compass, rudder, or sails out on the open sea. Cloud cover inhibits your ability to even navigate by the stars, and even if you could use the stars to find your way, you have no rudder whereby to steer your vessel. In order to build resiliency, you must have a support system – people you can trust to help you put things in perspective, to help you flex your optimism muscles and cope with the influx of emotions you might experience when under duress.

When the last straw is about to fall, resiliency – your ability to bounce back – will be the difference maker for your outcomes.

READ When the Last Straw Falls: 30 Ways to Keep Stress from Breaking Your Back by getting your own copy at http://www.angersolution.com/laststraw.php. Available EXCLUSIVELY from Leverage U.

Do Workplaces Need Anger Management or Anger Solutions?

Here is a re-posting of some interesting observations on workplace anger from Frank Szivos, contributing writer to Westport Minuteman.com, "Is letting off steam in the workplace allowed?"Posted: 04/09/2009

A recent Gallup poll showed that anger is becoming one of corporate America's biggest problems. In the poll, two of every ten employees admitted being angry enough to "hurt" a co-worker. Mis-managed anger is exploding more frequently in the workplace.

Organizations can generate strong emotions among workers who are working in a competitive environment. In some instances, anger is not always a bad thing. Workers who care and are invested in projects or their job will feel strongly about how things are done. While flare ups are expected, the workplace is experiencing more serious chronic emotional issues.

On bad days, due to the disagreements and resentments brewing in the office, it's amazing that any work gets done at all. The situation can grow tenser among corporations and businesses when it occurs between upper management and subordinates. When the boss is angry, employees can catch the fallout, leaving them resentful and angry with little recourse to express their emotions.

Victoria Brescoll, a professor of Management at Yale School of Management, has found that anger management can be even more frustrating for women, who often aren't given equal status on the job.In the workplace, women are less expected to express anger. If they do, they can be labeled as "difficult," Brescoll notes. Anger is more identified as a male emotion."There are a lot of negative consequences when women get angry at work," Brescoll said. "In general, women have less status and respect on the job. Data shows that women are less likely to express their anger in the office, and men are less likely to express other emotions, such as fear or sadness."
Because of the recession and cut backs in staff, individuals are more likely to hang onto jobs where they are experiencing frustration, but see no other options at this time. Dissatisfaction can create a hair trigger environment.

Anger typically flares because of one or all three basic trigger beliefs:
*An employee thinks a situation is unfair. As an example, the worker has to stay late and believes others don't.
*It's happening to me only. Workers feel suggestions or efforts are ignored or they're singled out negatively.

*They feel powerless. It's too difficult to make headway against the current of the work culture.
It's natural to feel anger and frustration. (However, beware if you're chronically angry, which can stem from emotional issues). With so much work to do, little downtime, and many different personalities, conflicts are bound to occur on the job. The occasional flare-up is one thing, but a workplace that is seething is quite another.

You can read the whole article at http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=1654&dept_id=57100&newsid=20295107&PAG=461&rfi=9

My thoughts:

Quite right... a workplace that is seething is not a fun place to be, and can in fact be quite dangerous. A 1994 study found that Canada is the 4th most dangerous country in which to work - this study has never been refuted. Workplace anger continues to rise in part because of frustration, stress, feeling overused and underappreciated, overworked and underpaid - the list goes on. Add to that the pressures of today's financial climate, and we have a potentially explosive situation.

So here are some tips from an Anger Solutions perspective for whenever you are faced with an anger-inducing situation, use this model for problem solving.

THINK - what is happening? what does it mean? how do I feel about it? how would I like this problem to be resolved? what is the best option for resolution? what is the best/worst thing that can happen if I respond with this option?

SAY - talk to the people or person involved in the situation. Be sure to separate the person from the problem. Speak about the issues - do not lay blame or place judgement. Talk about how you feel - not how other people "make you feel". Be clear about how you would like to solve the problem and how the other person can engage with you in the solution.

ASK - ask for a response. "Do you understand where I'm coming from?" - "How can we work together to ensure this doesn't happen again?" Ask questions that are empowering and assume that you can, in fact, achieve a positive outcome.

Keep working through this TSA model until you have reached an agreement or you agree to disagree.

Release residual anger - go for a walk, take a break from your work space, squeeze a stressball, or go to the gym after work and release the energy there. This will help your physiology and your emotional state to return to baseline. Then you won't be carrying around negative energy that can compound over time and contribute to a chronically toxic or angry workplace.
Want to learn more about Anger Solutions? Visit http://www.angersolution.com/faqs.php for more information.

Anger in the Workplace is Not Going Away

Some interesting observations on workplace anger from Frank Szivos, contributing writer to Westport Minuteman.com, "Is letting off steam in the workplace allowed?"
Posted: 04/09/2009

A recent Gallup poll showed that anger is becoming one of corporate America's biggest problems. In the poll, two of every ten employees admitted being angry enough to "hurt" a co-worker. Mis-managed anger is exploding more frequently in the workplace.

Organizations can generate strong emotions among workers who are working in a competitive environment. In some instances, anger is not always a bad thing. Workers who care and are invested in projects or their job will feel strongly about how things are done. While flare ups are expected, the workplace is experiencing more serious chronic emotional issues.

On bad days, due to the disagreements and resentments brewing in the office, it's amazing that any work gets done at all. The situation can grow tenser among corporations and businesses when it occurs between upper management and subordinates. When the boss is angry, employees can catch the fallout, leaving them resentful and angry with little recourse to express their emotions.

Victoria Brescoll, a professor of Management at Yale School of Management, has found that anger management can be even more frustrating for women, who often aren't given equal status on the job.In the workplace, women are less expected to express anger. If they do, they can be labeled as "difficult," Brescoll notes. Anger is more identified as a male emotion."There are a lot of negative consequences when women get angry at work," Brescoll said. "In general, women have less status and respect on the job. Data shows that women are less likely to express their anger in the office, and men are less likely to express other emotions, such as fear or sadness."

Because of the recession and cut backs in staff, individuals are more likely to hang onto jobs where they are experiencing frustration, but see no other options at this time. Dissatisfaction can create a hair trigger environment.

Anger typically flares because of one or all three basic trigger beliefs:

*An employee thinks a situation is unfair. As an example, the worker has to stay late and believes others don't.

*It's happening to me only. Workers feel suggestions or efforts are ignored or they're singled out negatively.

*They feel powerless. It's too difficult to make headway against the current of the work culture.

It's natural to feel anger and frustration. (However, beware if you're chronically angry, which can stem from emotional issues). With so much work to do, little downtime, and many different personalities, conflicts are bound to occur on the job. The occasional flare-up is one thing, but a workplace that is seething is quite another.

©Westport Minuteman 2009

You can read the whole article at http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=1654&dept_id=57100&newsid=20295107&PAG=461&rfi=9

My thoughts:

Quite right... a workplace that is seething is not a fun place to be, and can in fact be quite dangerous. A 1994 study found that Canada is the 4th most dangerous country in which to work - this study has never been refuted. Workplace anger continues to rise in part because of frustration, stress, feeling overused and underappreciated, overworked and underpaid - the list goes on. Add to that the pressures of today's financial climate, and we have a potentially explosive situation.

So here are some tips from an Anger Solutions perspective for whenever you are faced with an anger-inducing situation, use this model for problem solving.

1. THINK - what is happening? what does it mean? how do I feel about it? how would I like this problem to be resolved? what is the best option for resolution? what is the best/worst thing that can happen if I respond with this option?
2. SAY - talk to the people or person involved in the situation. Be sure to separate the person from the problem. Speak about the issues - do not lay blame or place judgement. Talk about how you feel - not how other people "make you feel". Be clear about how you would like to solve the problem and how the other person can engage with you in the solution.
3. ASK - ask for a response. "Do you understand where I'm coming from?" - "How can we work together to ensure this doesn't happen again?" Ask questions that are empowering and assume that you can, in fact, achieve a positive outcome.
4. Keep working through this TSA model until you have reached an agreement or you agree to disagree.
5. Release residual anger - go for a walk, take a break from your work space, squeeze a stressball, or go to the gym after work and release the energy there. This will help your physiology and your emotional state to return to baseline. Then you won't be carrying around negative energy that can compound over time and contribute to a chronically toxic or angry workplace.

Want to learn more about Anger Solutions? Visit http://www.angersolution.com/faqs.php for more information.