Showing posts with label workplace violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label workplace violence. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Amy Bishop, Pierre Lebrun and Workplace Bullying


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Remember the case of Pierre Lebrun, the OC Transpo worker who murdered four co-workers and then killed himself in 1999? Pierre had been relentlessly ridiculed by co-workers because he had a stutter. He slapped one of the workers for harassing him, and then was reprimanded by management and forced to apologize. Lebrun was a victim of what is called Workplace Mobbing (or bullying that is perpetrated by a group of people as opposed to one person bullying or harassing another) ( M. Barzyk & E. Edmiston, personal communication, November 5, 2009). A paper presentation by Cassell (2010) about bullying in the academic world states that ":72% of workplace bullying incidences involved a harasser that was ranked higher than his or her victims (Zogby International, 2007 in Cassell, 2010). Bully OnLine reports that 20% of all calls and enquiries to their hotline have come from the education sector including universities. Another survey of employees in the academic workplace found that 40% of respondents acknowledged they were the targets of bullying. Bullying/mobbing behaviours include giving the silent treatment, eye rolling, witholding praise, feedback, or information, interrupting, excluding from conversations, or more overt behaviours including verbal/physical aggression or verbal/physical abuse. Bullying is described as psychological violence, and has been reported to contribute to stress, illness, depression, and thoughts of suicide (Chitale, 2008 in Cassell, 2010).

As the Amy Bishop case moves forward, it will be interesting to learn of how she was treated at the University of Alabama, as well as by other figures who factor into her strange life (brother, and the Harvard professor). I'm not saying that any of the victims are to blame, but I am interested to know if feelings of harassment, being bullied, or a past history of maltreatment or abuse contributed to her choices.

References:

Cassell, M. (2010). Bullying in academe: Prevalent, significant, and incessant. 2010 IABR & ITLC Conference Proceedings. Retrieved February 19, 2010 from http://www.gimi.us/CLUTE_INSTITUTE/ORLANDO_2010/Article450.pdf


Leverage U can help you to prevent workplace violence and ensure you are compliant with Ontario's Bill C-168. Call us at 1-866-754-6169 or visit our website at www.angersolution.com to find out more.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Do Workplaces Need Anger Management or Anger Solutions?

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Here is a re-posting of some interesting observations on workplace anger from Frank Szivos, contributing writer to Westport Minuteman.com, "Is letting off steam in the workplace allowed?"Posted: 04/09/2009

A recent Gallup poll showed that anger is becoming one of corporate America's biggest problems. In the poll, two of every ten employees admitted being angry enough to "hurt" a co-worker. Mis-managed anger is exploding more frequently in the workplace.


Organizations can generate strong emotions among workers who are working in a competitive environment. In some instances, anger is not always a bad thing. Workers who care and are invested in projects or their job will feel strongly about how things are done. While flare ups are expected, the workplace is experiencing more serious chronic emotional issues.


On bad days, due to the disagreements and resentments brewing in the office, it's amazing that any work gets done at all. The situation can grow tenser among corporations and businesses when it occurs between upper management and subordinates. When the boss is angry, employees can catch the fallout, leaving them resentful and angry with little recourse to express their emotions.


Victoria Brescoll, a professor of Management at Yale School of Management, has found that anger management can be even more frustrating for women, who often aren't given equal status on the job.In the workplace, women are less expected to express anger. If they do, they can be labeled as "difficult," Brescoll notes. Anger is more identified as a male emotion."There are a lot of negative consequences when women get angry at work," Brescoll said. "In general, women have less status and respect on the job. Data shows that women are less likely to express their anger in the office, and men are less likely to express other emotions, such as fear or sadness."
Because of the recession and cut backs in staff, individuals are more likely to hang onto jobs where they are experiencing frustration, but see no other options at this time. Dissatisfaction can create a hair trigger environment.


Anger typically flares because of one or all three basic trigger beliefs:
*An employee thinks a situation is unfair. As an example, the worker has to stay late and believes others don't.
*It's happening to me only. Workers feel suggestions or efforts are ignored or they're singled out negatively.


*They feel powerless. It's too difficult to make headway against the current of the work culture.
It's natural to feel anger and frustration. (However, beware if you're chronically angry, which can stem from emotional issues). With so much work to do, little downtime, and many different personalities, conflicts are bound to occur on the job. The occasional flare-up is one thing, but a workplace that is seething is quite another.

You can read the whole article at http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=1654&dept_id=57100&newsid=20295107&PAG=461&rfi=9


My thoughts:

Quite right... a workplace that is seething is not a fun place to be, and can in fact be quite dangerous. A 1994 study found that Canada is the 4th most dangerous country in which to work - this study has never been refuted. Workplace anger continues to rise in part because of frustration, stress, feeling overused and underappreciated, overworked and underpaid - the list goes on. Add to that the pressures of today's financial climate, and we have a potentially explosive situation.


So here are some tips from an Anger Solutions perspective for whenever you are faced with an anger-inducing situation, use this model for problem solving.


THINK - what is happening? what does it mean? how do I feel about it? how would I like this problem to be resolved? what is the best option for resolution? what is the best/worst thing that can happen if I respond with this option?


SAY - talk to the people or person involved in the situation. Be sure to separate the person from the problem. Speak about the issues - do not lay blame or place judgement. Talk about how you feel - not how other people "make you feel". Be clear about how you would like to solve the problem and how the other person can engage with you in the solution.


ASK - ask for a response. "Do you understand where I'm coming from?" - "How can we work together to ensure this doesn't happen again?" Ask questions that are empowering and assume that you can, in fact, achieve a positive outcome.


Keep working through this TSA model until you have reached an agreement or you agree to disagree.


Release residual anger - go for a walk, take a break from your work space, squeeze a stressball, or go to the gym after work and release the energy there. This will help your physiology and your emotional state to return to baseline. Then you won't be carrying around negative energy that can compound over time and contribute to a chronically toxic or angry workplace.
Want to learn more about Anger Solutions? Visit http://www.angersolution.com/faqs.php for more information.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Anger Solutions RePost: You are a Gun, With a Twist


View Julie Christiansen's profile on LinkedInI always marvel at that slogan: "Guns don't kill people... People kill people". Yeah - that's true, but all too often, people kill people - using guns!


Early in my book, Anger Solutions, I use the analogy of "triggers". We all have triggers that people or situations can pull (or buttons people can push) that sets of a chain of reactions in our thoughts, words, and actions. Does that mean that when people push your buttons, or pull your triggers, that you have to fire? This distinction became clearer for me during a coaching session some time ago. It occurred to me that my client always seemed to correlate his behaviours with what people do. It's always someone's fault - if only things weren't so stressful, if only people would do what he wanted them to, if only he weren't under so much pressure from his clients... he wouldn't be so aggressive and intimidating. He also has made it quite clear that he can turn off his aggressive behaviour style when he is with certain people, but it comes out full swing with others.


So I had to ask: "Do you believe that other people are responsible for what you do?"I gave him this as homework to think about... What you do is not a function of people or situations around you; what you do is a function of your choice.


You may be like a gun, with triggers that can set you off, but the twist is that you are a human being - not an inanimate object. You cannot be manipulated into firing, unless you allow yourself to be. You ultimately make the choice to be aggressive, to be threatening, or to be intimidating, just as much as you make the choice to be nice, passive, or to "kiss butt". Very often people make these choices unconsciously or automatically - they do not realize that they are in control.


A large part of the Anger Solutions program is to wake people up to the realization that they are in control of what they think, do, or say - even when their hot buttons are being pushed.So the next time someone or something pushes your buttons - remember, you are a gun with a twist.


You can make a choice about how you respond based on the following factors:
* what is really happening
* what it means to you now and what it will mean in the future
* what kind of outcome you would like to see come from this event (e.g. do you want to go to jail for assault or would you like to resolve the situation assertively?)
* how important is the person (or the people) involved in this situation, and how would your like your relationship to progress from this point? Your choice of behaviour will determine where it goes from here.


Remember this the next time you decide to fire at will. Guns kill people. People kill people too. You are both a gun AND a person with the power of choice. Choose wisely.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Anger in the Workplace is Not Going Away

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Some interesting observations on workplace anger from Frank Szivos, contributing writer to Westport Minuteman.com, "Is letting off steam in the workplace allowed?"
Posted: 04/09/2009

A recent Gallup poll showed that anger is becoming one of corporate America's biggest problems. In the poll, two of every ten employees admitted being angry enough to "hurt" a co-worker. Mis-managed anger is exploding more frequently in the workplace.

Organizations can generate strong emotions among workers who are working in a competitive environment. In some instances, anger is not always a bad thing. Workers who care and are invested in projects or their job will feel strongly about how things are done. While flare ups are expected, the workplace is experiencing more serious chronic emotional issues.

On bad days, due to the disagreements and resentments brewing in the office, it's amazing that any work gets done at all. The situation can grow tenser among corporations and businesses when it occurs between upper management and subordinates. When the boss is angry, employees can catch the fallout, leaving them resentful and angry with little recourse to express their emotions.

Victoria Brescoll, a professor of Management at Yale School of Management, has found that anger management can be even more frustrating for women, who often aren't given equal status on the job.In the workplace, women are less expected to express anger. If they do, they can be labeled as "difficult," Brescoll notes. Anger is more identified as a male emotion."There are a lot of negative consequences when women get angry at work," Brescoll said. "In general, women have less status and respect on the job. Data shows that women are less likely to express their anger in the office, and men are less likely to express other emotions, such as fear or sadness."

Because of the recession and cut backs in staff, individuals are more likely to hang onto jobs where they are experiencing frustration, but see no other options at this time. Dissatisfaction can create a hair trigger environment.

Anger typically flares because of one or all three basic trigger beliefs:

*An employee thinks a situation is unfair. As an example, the worker has to stay late and believes others don't.

*It's happening to me only. Workers feel suggestions or efforts are ignored or they're singled out negatively.

*They feel powerless. It's too difficult to make headway against the current of the work culture.

It's natural to feel anger and frustration. (However, beware if you're chronically angry, which can stem from emotional issues). With so much work to do, little downtime, and many different personalities, conflicts are bound to occur on the job. The occasional flare-up is one thing, but a workplace that is seething is quite another.

©Westport Minuteman 2009

You can read the whole article at http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=1654&dept_id=57100&newsid=20295107&PAG=461&rfi=9

My thoughts:

Quite right... a workplace that is seething is not a fun place to be, and can in fact be quite dangerous. A 1994 study found that Canada is the 4th most dangerous country in which to work - this study has never been refuted. Workplace anger continues to rise in part because of frustration, stress, feeling overused and underappreciated, overworked and underpaid - the list goes on. Add to that the pressures of today's financial climate, and we have a potentially explosive situation.

So here are some tips from an Anger Solutions perspective for whenever you are faced with an anger-inducing situation, use this model for problem solving.

  1. THINK - what is happening? what does it mean? how do I feel about it? how would I like this problem to be resolved? what is the best option for resolution? what is the best/worst thing that can happen if I respond with this option?
  2. SAY - talk to the people or person involved in the situation. Be sure to separate the person from the problem. Speak about the issues - do not lay blame or place judgement. Talk about how you feel - not how other people "make you feel". Be clear about how you would like to solve the problem and how the other person can engage with you in the solution.
  3. ASK - ask for a response. "Do you understand where I'm coming from?" - "How can we work together to ensure this doesn't happen again?" Ask questions that are empowering and assume that you can, in fact, achieve a positive outcome.
  4. Keep working through this TSA model until you have reached an agreement or you agree to disagree.
  5. Release residual anger - go for a walk, take a break from your work space, squeeze a stressball, or go to the gym after work and release the energy there. This will help your physiology and your emotional state to return to baseline. Then you won't be carrying around negative energy that can compound over time and contribute to a chronically toxic or angry workplace.

Want to learn more about Anger Solutions? Visit http://www.angersolution.com/faqs.php for more information.

Friday, October 03, 2008

LIVE October 24th - Time Management and Overcoming Conflict


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On October 24th, 2008, join international speaker and author, Julie Christiansen for two dynamic interactive workshops: Time Management for Real People, and Overcoming Conflict and Negativity. Both workshops will take place at the Holiday Inn St. Catharines, 2 South Service Road, near the QEW and Lake Street. You may register for one session only ($99 each includes refreshments, workbook, and a free E-Book), or attend both and pay only $180. Click on the image at the left to see a full-sized registration form - you may print, complete and fax it to the number provided to reserve your spot. Space is limited to the first 15 registrants, so don't miss out!

Monday, September 01, 2008

Work Rage - Time For Companies to get out of Denial

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Anger management in the workplace: Raging bull
01 September 2008 00:00
The traditionally curmudgeonly British character shouldn’t lead us to overlook the risks anger at work can pose to staff health and wellbeing, writes Virginia Matthews.
And the anger isn't restricted to road, shopping or Naomi Campbell-style air-rage either.

Work rage

According to recent research from employment law firm Peninsula, eight in 10 of us suffer from 'work rage' triggered by anything from lazy colleagues to ill-defined job roles. As many as seven in 10 report that verbal abuse and shouting is common in their place of work.


Seeing a colleague hurl their BlackBerry at the wall or square-up to an unpopular boss may be diverting at the time, but according to Dirk Hansen, director of clinical and service quality at Employee Advisory Resource, a persistently angry colleague can be highly disruptive in a team.
"Anger makes people say hurtful things and it triggers insecurity and lack of trust. Staff may become tentative in their approach to a colleague with anger problems, obstructing the work process and flow, and in the case of explosive anger, may become fearful of violence."
He advocates a zero-tolerance approach when the red mist comes down. "Line management should directly confront any individual who exhibits anger in the workplace and HR should not hesitate to deal with it in a disciplinary context."


Mike Fisher, founder of the British Association of Anger Management, says most organisations are in denial over work-rage, making it "the hot potato that nobody wants to touch".
He argues that while stress, anxiety or low self-esteem are already familiar territory to managers, the gnawing rage suffered inwardly by some staff tends to be hidden under a veneer of self-deprecation and sarcasm.


"While HR has come to embrace the problem of work-induced stress, the anger that invariably follows it is still the elephant in the room," says Fisher, a self-confessed 'passive-aggressive'.
"Yet this is a problem that will only continue to rise along with the country's current economic problems," he adds.


Although most flare-ups at work are minor – an oath, a phone banged down or a slammed desk drawer – work rage can, on occasions, be dramatic.


Paul Dubois, senior anger management instructor at Reed Learning, talks of the two senior surgeons referred to him after they set upon one another with scalpels and knives in an operating theatre: Ivan Robertson of occupational psychologists Robertson Cooper, remembers seeing a colleague coolly smash every single window pane in his office with a metal waste basket.


Calculated subversion
In Fisher's view, though, the problem of "calculated subversion" is far more of a danger to most employers.


"Although it is still deemed acceptable in our society for senior directors to blow their tops and bawl out colleagues, overt aggression is very rare among the lower ranks."


For those workers who feel they don't have a voice at work, undermining the organisation at every possible opportunity can be a far more subtle and deadly way of fighting back, he says.
"Spending extra time at lunch and on breaks is a favourite, as is lying on expenses forms. Angry staff will also spread malicious rumours, phone in sick when it's most inconvenient, be less caring towards customers and be downright obstreperous towards new members of staff," Fisher says.
"You won't even realise what they've been doing until there's a wave of resignations or you lose your biggest customers or contracts."


When it comes to figuring out why we are so angry in the first place – and the rage appears to affect teachers and doctors as much as call centre or sales staff – the consensus of opinion is that lack of autonomy and control, as well as ill-defined work roles, are the number-one suspects, along with mounting workloads and smaller staff numbers.


In the Metropolitan Police, which recently launched 'Shrinking Clouds', a toolkit that aims to combat absenteeism, it is stress, not anger, that receives the most attention.
"I've never yet seen a doctor's note that says: 'Mr So-and-So is off work due to anger problems'," says chief medical officer Dr Eileen Cahill-Canning. "I consider stress to be a far less pejorative word than anger and far easier for people to talk about, even though the two are inextricably linked."


She adds: "Our officers are highly trained not to react emotionally or angrily when faced with highly stressful situations. While it is possible that repressing anger in this way could lead to severe problems later on, we believe our concentration on stress, together with our falling absenteeism levels, speak for themselves."


The right target
For many organisations, anger management only hits the radar when there's been 'an incident' – a shouting match in the middle of the accounts department, or wilful damage to company property.


Yet the individual chosen to receive lessons in managing their anger is not always the right one, says Dubois.


"In many cases, employers are happy to blame individual members of staff for the outburst against a manager, without examining either whether their treatment at work has been fair or finding out whether there's another reason – perhaps a deeply personal one – for their display of anger."


"Although our courses tend to be filled with staff, not their managers, in nine cases out of 10, I would argue that it is actually their bosses who need to manage their anger better too," he says. "Ultimately, we teach people how to say 'no' to their employer, but to do it in an assertive, rather than aggressive way that avoids both manipulating others and resorting to threats or violence.


Virginia Matthews (About this Author)
www.PersonnelToday.com
Tuesday, 02 September 2008

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Keep Un-necessary Stressors Away

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Crying baby? Can’t help that. Boorish boss? Maybe you can’t help that either. But that third cup of coffee? You can steer clear of that one. There are some things in life that are uncontrollable, and then there are others that we can do something about. Ironically, part of the challenge about stressors that we can’t control, is that sometimes we can’t control when they come in and out of our lives. That said, there are certain kinds of stresses that we can keep out of our lives. Here are just a few things that we openly welcome, sometimes unaware that they are stress-inducers rather than stress-reducers:

Ø Watching or reading the morning or 10 p.m. news – starting or ending the day with bad news can heighten our stress. I remember giving a seminar in Rochester, NY, and most of the people showed up late for the session. Turned out there was a fatality on the highway – a pedestrian was killed while “attempting to cross” the interstate. Now, having worked in the field of mental health for several years before going into corporate speaking, I made the mistake of relating to a few of the early folk that the last time I heard of something like that happening, it wasn’t an accident, but a wilful act on the part of the “pedestrian”. Didn’t that put a damper on the morning! News – especially bad news travels fast. I didn’t realize how that one off-hand comment could set the tone for the day – with everyone suddenly feeling down and low-energy, because of the thought that they may have witnessed a suicide on the highway that morning. I learned my lesson though! Now, I start the day with positive input, and do the same for my seminar participants, because I know that bad news can overshadow your mood for the day.
Ø Making frequent and lengthy stops at the water cooler or coffee machine. Too often an innocent trip to the break room becomes an opportunity for people to carp about the challenges, stressors, and difficult people at your workplace. The more you find yourself getting caught up in those kinds of conversations. And… the more you talk about what is wrong at work, the more stress you will feel. (What you focus on is what you will achieve. Remember this when you get to the chapter on Focus.) Pretty soon, the job you loved to get up for every morning suddenly fills you with dread when the alarm goes off each morning, and before you know it, you are wondering why you ever decided to work here. What changed? The job didn’t – but your RESPONSE to it did. So guard your thoughts and focus on the reasons why you love this job, rather than the reasons everyone else hates it. Watch your attitude, and keep it positive!
Ø Engaging in low energy activity during your high energy times. Make sure you match your activities that require high energy with your peak energy times in order to maximize the use of both your time and energy. More on this when we talk about managing one’s time.
Ø Silently tolerating the boorish behaviour of your belligerent, bullying boss. Trust me – I have been there, and for years I thought that the best way to get through my bosses’ temper tantrums was to sit quietly and wait for the storm to pass over. However, after 60 lbs of weight gain over 2.5 years, two surgeries and 6 weeks of sick leave from one particularly stressful job, I began to re-think my position on how to deal with workplace bullies. Now I take the position that one must be clear about what is acceptable and not acceptable in terms of behaviour and the way one is treated.

I remember when I was on the road teaching the “Exceptional Assistant” program for Pryor Resources, I met some people who were so oppressed by their bosses that they had to ration the amount of water they drank because they were only allowed to use the bathroom at certain times of the day! I met women who put up with so much inappropriate behaviour on a consistent basis, that they had reverted to the same kind of belligerence that they hated, much to their dismay. They had somehow bought into the myth that they had to accept poor treatment at work, because after all, they should be happy they even had a job, right? Remember the list of self-evaluating questions you went through in the chapter, Face Your Fears? Do it again for this situation. You may be surprised at the answers you generate.

It is often hard to stand up to someone who has authority over you, even when you know for certain that they are wrong, but the truth is this. The stress you may feel in the moment of standing up to tyrannical behaviour may be intense in the moment, but the worst thing that can happen is that the behaviour will continue. The best thing that could happen is that your boss might actually realize the impact s/he is having on your ability to perform effectively, and STOP! Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission.

Guess What? There is more to this chapter! Please visit http://www.angersolution.com to download your PRE-ORDER Form so you can be one of the first to get a copy of my new book, Stress Less in 27 Days when it rolls off the presses.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Work the New Playground for School Bullies

This Just In - October 27th, 2007

Workplace is a second life for school bullies
Sat Oct 27, 1:01 PM
By The Canadian Press

For many, the modern workplace is another chance to relive the taunting and cruelty of middle school.

The bullies may wear business casual now, but in a random phone survey of office workers, 29 per cent of respondents said they still deal with rude or unprofessional co-worker behaviour.
Different troublemakers require individualized coping mechanisms, but directness, confidence and flexibility are essential in any confrontation, said Diane Domeyer, executive director of staffing company OfficeTeam, which conducted the survey.

"Recognize that it's not going to change overnight," she said. "Learn to adapt."
Meanwhile, avoid chatting with the office gossip lest his reputation damage your standing with colleagues. Defuse a belittler's invective by confidently asserting your position. Don't be afraid to tell her or a supervisor your feelings.

"Stand up and be brave," said Domeyer. "If you find over and over again that it's starting to affect your morale and productivity, that will affect your career."

OfficeTeam and research company International Communications Research interviewed 532 randomly selected full-or part-time adult office-dwellers in an unscientific August phone survey.

***************************************************************************
Interesting survey - although unscientific - can be supported by other studies, including one by the ILO that rates Canada as the 4th most dangerous country in which to work due to high incidences of workplace violence. That said, I find the strategies for coping - "stand up and be brave" - may get you somewhere, but not very far in the grand scheme of things. You know from my previous posts that I have had my share of bullies for bosses, and so I decided to go on the record again, with some workable, practical strategies that anyone can use to survive and even thrive in the bully's environment. To take a listen, go to: http://juliechristiansen.mypodcast.com. The recording is about 5 1/2 minutes long. At the end of the recording, take advantage of the offer to download a free copy of my 4 page report on how to cope with bullies in the workplace.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Angry? Sleep on It!

Sleep Deprivation - from HR Magazine, May, 1999 by Stephenie Overman
You know the feeling: It's hard to get out of bed in the morning. You can't put together two intelligent sentences before your first cup of coffee. It takes longer than usual to complete your work duties.

It's called sleep deprivation and it affects some 70 million Americans, according to the National Commission on Sleep Disorders at the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Md. The commission's studies show that work-related problems such as increased stress, inattention and diminished productivity are caused by workers' lack of sleep or poor quality sleep. The cost for U.S. businesses is estimated at $150 billion a year.
Read the whole article at: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3495/is_5_44/ai_54711192

Now put that together with this article just released yesterday:

Emotions Run Amok in Sleep-Deprived Brains
Charles Q. Choi, Special to LiveScienceLiveScience.com Mon., Oct 22, 12:20 PM ET
Without sleep, the emotional centers of our brains dramatically overreact to bad experiences, research now reveals.

"When we're sleep deprived, it's really as if the brain is reverting to more primitive behavior, regressing in terms of the control humans normally have over their emotions," researcher Matthew Walker, a neuroscientist at the University of California, Berkeley, told LiveScience.
While past studies have revealed that sleep loss can impair the immune system and brain processes such as learning and memory, there has been surprisingly little research into why sleep deprivation affects emotions, Walker said.

Walker and his colleagues had 26 healthy volunteers either get normal sleep or get sleep deprived, making them stay awake for roughly 35 hours. On the following day, the researchers scanned brain activity in volunteers using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) while they viewed 100 images. These started off as emotionally neutral, such as photos of spoons or baskets, but they became increasingly negative in tone over time—for instance, pictures of attacking sharks or vipers.

"While we predicted that the emotional centers of the brain would overreact after sleep deprivation, we didn't predict they'd overreact as much as they did," Walker said. "They became more than 60 percent more reactive to negative emotional stimuli. That's a whopping increase—the emotional parts of the brain just seem to run amok."

The researchers pinpointed this hyperactive response to a shutdown of the prefrontal lobe, a brain region that normally keeps emotions under control. This structure is relatively new in human evolution, "and so it may not yet have adapted ways to cope with certain biological extremes," Walker speculated. "Human beings are one of the few species that really deprive themselves of sleep. It's a real oddity in nature."

The findings are detailed in the Oct. 23 issue of the journal Current Biology.
Read the whole article at http://www.sciencedaily.com.

What we can extrapolate from these two articles is that over 20% of the US population is sleep deprived; meaning that over 20% of the population may be experiencing overreactions in the emotional centers of the brain, when faced with negative stimuli. In other words, on a normal day, a person having had adequate sleep will be able to cope more effectively with negative stimuli than one who is sleep deprived.

When anger-inducing situations come your way, do you find you have no tolerance? Do you fly off the handle more quickly than you used to, and do you find that you are more stressed and less able to cope? The answer might be as simple as increasing the amount of time you spend sleeping each night.

The studies show that increasing the amount of sleep we get each night, and maintaining regular sleep patterns are ways to ensure that our brains can function at peak potential during our waking hours. Could resolving anger be that simple? While it takes more than a good night’s sleep to resolve anger, ensuring that your brain is well rested can take you a long way towards being able to evaluate your circumstances more clearly, and to make better choices about how you want to achieve positive outcomes in the face of anger.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Why Do Bullies Get Ahead?

I just read an intersting article in the Epoch Times (www.theepochtimes.ca) that stated that in a recent survey it was found that over 90% of workplace bullies were promoted or in some other way rewarded despite their inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. Indeed, throughout my 15 year career in human services, I found that workplace bullies often got their way and were promoted to leadership/management positions. Toxic bosses often run rampant through their workplaces like bulls in a china shop - with no regard for the health and welfare of their staff or the clientele they serve. I have been yelled at in front of my team mates, berated in front of clients, called names, and have even been accused of being the sole cause for the organization's complete failure. Just recently a friend told me that her boss sat the team down and told them that if they ever reported her to HR for any reason, she would have something bad done to them - then she singled out one particularly attractive female on the team and told her that if she ever reported the boss to HR, she would have her raped! Let's see how many laws were broken in this last example:
  • harassment (against labour law)
  • uttering a threat (see criminal code, folks!)

Never mind the fact that she is openly intimidating the members of her team, and closing off their only option for recourse (reporting her to HR), which by the way, is typical of bullies.

How is it that these kinds of people are allowed to remain in leadership positions? The answer (unfortunately) is quite simple. We let them! Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can hurt your feelings unless you give them permission." Although I used this quote for many years in my seminars, I never really learned the power of the statement until I found myself at the mercy of a REALLY toxic bully supervisor. She had me fearing for my job and unable to get up in the morning because of the negative anticipation of what the day might hold. She was mean, shrill, and downright evil. Then one day I woke up and did what I tell my clients to do. I evaluated the situation and asked myself the question: "What's the worst thing that can happen if she fires me?" - The answer wasn't so bad... first, I wouldn't have to go to work to put up with her anymore. That was a huge bonus. Second, I have lots of skills - I could find another job, or just work in my business more and build that up. Either way, I would win by not working there anymore.

Once I faced my demons, I decided that I wasn't going to give her permission to poop on me anymore. Sure enough, that day, she called me into her office for another slap down session, and I looked her in the eye, and asked her if she planned to fire me, because if so, I wanted to get my resume ready. The response was amazing. Her jaw dropped, and for the first time, she was speechless. She stumbled over her words until she finally said, "Well, there's nothing in it for me if I fire you." Then I was able to lay out my expectations - I told her that the constant monitoring was counterproductive, and that I needed to get to work if she expected me to "improve". In other words, I called the slap down sessions to a halt. From that point onward, she treated me differently - because I took away the permission to treat me badly!

Since that time, I have advanced, and regressed in my ability to stand up for myself; just as we all do. Depending on the situation and the stake we have invested in any particular thing (job, relationship, purchase - whatever), it seems to be human nature to back away from conflict for fear of losing... However, we lose much more when we sacrifice our self esteem and our emotional and mental stability to the whims of a workplace bully.

So here are some ways to counter bullying at work.

  1. The next time your boss, supervisor or co-worker yells at you, act surprised and genuinely disappointed in their immature behaviour, shake your head, and say NOTHING. It takes two to escalate an argument, and if you don't engage, they will just be on a wild rampage to nowhere.
  2. If your typical response has been to say nothing - that in itself could be interpreted as permission. So in this case, speak up. Don't yell or raise your voice to the other party's level, just be firm. You can state your limits, "Don't talk to me like that..." or set boundaries, "Let's talk about this later - you clearly are not in a position where we can discuss this rationally right now." Chances are you will not have the opportunity to get that whole sentence out, but you have stated your expectations, and if the behaviour continues, you can feel free in walking away.
  3. Despite the threats of retaliation - REPORT to HR! If you have no HR department, then call the labour board, or better yet, call the police. If someone threatens to have you raped, you should acknowledge that threat, your response might be something like, "That sounds like a threat, and if you're serious, I'll have to notify the police." The bully will likely retract the threat, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't call the cops. If something ever happens to you, better to have the report on file than not.

Whining and asking, "why do you always treat me this way?" only feeds the bully's fire. This is what the bully wants - to see that his/her intimidation tactics are working. When you call the bully on his/her behaviour, s/he has to answer for it. Most workplaces have anti-harassment or anti-bullying policies. Under definition of Canadian law, most of the behaviours I have described in this blog constitute workplace violence, and cannot be allowed to go unchecked. I for one am tired of coming up against people who think the only way they can get what they want out of their staff is to berate, belittle, and bully them. You don't need a union or even the support of your team behind you to have a backbone. All you have to do is say, "I won't allow you to treat me this way." Think about it... What's the worst that could happen?

Something to think about!