Three Things I Couldn't Live Without

OK so I admit, this isn't an original idea. I was listening to the CBC radio the other day and heard some folks talking about 3 things they couldn't live without and it made me wonder, what would I say if I were asked that question? "What 3 things would you not be able to live without?"

Hmmm... let me start by listing all the things I sometimes feel like I can't do without but I know for a fact are not essential:

• sexy underwear
• chocolate
• my Blackberry
• my car
• modern methods of communication
• CSI Miami, House, and The Mentalist
• new shoes
• manicures and pedicures
• therapeutic hot stone massage
• ahhh you get the message!

Of course, the essential three things we cannot live without are air, food, and water. But if I were to look at my life metaphorically in terms of really LIVING, there are certain things I could not live without:
1. My family - I love them - even when they make me crazy (and that is more often than not). It is like the kids know whenever I have money - and suddenly, they have all these NEEDS that just have to supersede mine. And of course, because I am Mom, I take care of what they need first. So very often that means I have to forgo the sexy underwear new shoes and the chocolate, because once the kids' NEEDS are taken care of, I'm left with barely enough sense, I mean cents to rub together. BUT I love them all the same. My spouse is another story. He can be a hard man to live with, but then again, I don't know a man who wouldn't be hard to live with. Men are just... DIFFERENT! I'm sure I am just as much a mystery to my spouse, so there you go. We make each other crazy, but we were meant to be together, and the fact is - I wouldn't want to live my life without him or our kids. My extended family falls into this category as well, along with those friends who are close enough for me to count them family. And let's be honest - there are some friends we could live without.
2. My faith - Hey: one of the basic tenets of Anger Solutions is that belief is the basis of action. My faith is one of my most fundamental beliefs. It makes me who I am. It drives me forward, and sometimes yanks me back. It is what keeps me grounded. When I am in distress, that is where I turn. When I am at the top of my game, that is what I credit. Could I LIVE without it? Absolutely not.
3. Money money money! Unfortunately, the way life goes - money has to be my third thing. Lets face it. Money makes the world go round (not literally, folks!). Seriously - without money, one cannot buy food, one cannot pay for one's clean water, and one can certainly not meet all of her children's NEEDS. Without money, there is no sexy underwear, no chocolate, no new shoes, no nice car, very often - there are no friends, no Blackberry... you see where this is going!

So there you have it. Family, Faith, & Money. Three things I could not live without. Now, if you would please excuse me, I hear my kids calling.

28 Days Left - The Final Push in the 80 Day Challenge

I'm curious to know how many of you have been sticking with the 80-Day Challenge that I started with you at the beginning of October. We are quickly winding down, and I have another installment in the process to help you continue to build momentum as we approach January 1st, 2009.

But first a review:
Our very first exercise came to us courtesy of Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series as well as several other great works including The Aladdin Factor ( a must read for anyone wanting to set and achieve goals). You will remember that this exercise was about finding your "YOU ARE HERE" dot for your life. You asked yourself some key questions: what did achieve in 2008? Are you healthier? Happier? Wealthier? Wiser? What challenges were you still facing at the time of doing that exercise? What about now? Have you faced and overcome any of those challenges during this process? Have you created any wins for yourself over the last 60 days? What situations still exist in your life that you know you need to address in order to move forward?

Our second exercise was from the brilliant Morgana Rae, and focused on your relationship with money. What did you learn about yourself and your limiting beliefs around money? Have you re-defined what your relationship with money will be like from now on? Have you decided to make money a welcome visitor in your home - perhaps one that will take up residence in your business on a more permanent basis?

Our third lesson in the 80-Day Challenge focused on The Law of Seed and Harvest - and provided you with some tips on how to make the most of the time, energy, and money that you invest into your life or your business. What seeds have you decided to plant? What "gardens" are you currently nurturing, and what kind of fruit will they yield in the harvest? Have you begun thinking about the natural growing seasons in your life, and how you can make the best of the time you have to work with? Remember that the Law of Seed and Harvest relates to all aspects of our lives: work, love, family, pets, money, business, health, spirituality and faith. Nothing happens "instantly". You need to build skills to get that good job. You need to be willing to love and be loved in order for romance to blossom. Kids don't grow up overnight although it seems that way sometimes. Pets need to be trained and acclimatized to your family's routines. Money must be invested in order for it to grow. Businesses all start somewhere - none of them become overnight successes - there was work, planning, and investment of time, energy, and money long before the success came. If you want to be healthy, you have to sow good seeds - if you sow rotten seeds (drugs, alcohol, junk food, nicotine, etc.), you will reap a rotten harvest. And of course with spirituality and faith - to develop a relationship with your creator also takes time and attention on your part. Nothing comes from nothing - you have to plant, water, and nurture the seeds for the harvest you hope to reap.

That brought us to our T quadrant in the most recent lesson: Taking Stock. This is about isolating where exactly you want to plant those seeds as you move forward either in your career, job, or business. I have always believed that one should do what one loves, and the money will follow. I still think this is true. However, I have recently re-framed that concept - if we do what we love by following a proven SYSTEM, and sticking with the PLAN, the money will not only follow, it will FLOW. The Law of Seed and Harvest is about following a universal system that will lead to a harvest every time. The T quadrant is about clarifying your vision so that you can plan ahead to do more of what you really love - the stuff that is FUN and makes you money.

Where do we go from here?
With only 20 something days left in the challenge, it is time to move into action steps. By now you should have a clear concept of what you want to accomplish (work wise) in 2009. You have re-framed your ideas about money, and you know what challenges you are currently facing. You understand that you need to plant something in order to reap a harvest, and that what you plant matters. So I have TWO assignments for you to follow through on in order to get yourself moving into action.

First: Make a list of the things you want to accomplish in 2009. Break your list down into categories -
Work
Love/Family
Money
Business
Health
Spirituality and faith
Intellectual/Education
Community/Legacy

Now - Narrow your focus down to the first 90-120 days of 2009. Which of these goals must you begin working on immediately if you are to reach your major milestones by the end of the year? What seeds must you plant, and how long will it take for them to convert into a viable harvest? For example: if you want to find true love, what steps must you take NOW in order to be able to say, "Happy New Year Honey!" to your dream lover on Dec. 31st 2009? If you want to land that "whale" account for your company, who do you need to contact? How will you build the relationship with that potential customer? What limiting beliefs must you shed in order to make this desired goal a reality?

Lastly - make a list of action steps you can begin within the next 20 - 28 days so that when 2009 rolls around, you will already be on your way to materializing the vision you just described through the goal setting process.

I can't wait to hear from you! Please feel free to post you comments on this site, or email me directly with your results. There will be one final installment in this 80-Day Challenge - the wrap-up. Look for it closer to the end of the month.

40 Days Left - Time to Take Stock

There are only 40 days left in our 80 Day Challenge. Are you still with me?

This time, I want to turn your attention to a great little exercise that will help you to begin planning out your 2009 year with purpose. I first began doing this at the end of each year, about three years ago after I had worked like a dog all year, with very little to show for it financially or emotionally in the end. I wish I could remember where I first heard of this exercise - I want to say I learned it from one of my colleagues from back in the day when I worked for Pryor Resources Inc., but in truth I can't be sure.

In any case, the exercise works like this. Draw a T quadrant on a sheet of paper (you may need more than one sheet) - an example is here for you to look at. In each quadrant, you will place a different heading:

1. What was FUN and made me money

2. What was NOT FUN and made me money

3. What was FUN and didn't make me money

4. What was NOT FUN and didn't make me money

Go back over your year. What tasks or projects did you participate in? Were they fun? Were they lucrative? What was not fun at all, but was seemingly necessary in order for you to earn a living? What was incredibly fun - that you would do again for NO PAY?

Prioritize your 2009 plans accordingly. For me, there were some things I did in 2008 that were amazing FUN, but didn't make me any money - this time. I already know what needs to be done differently, and the wheels are already in motion to make this fun time a profitable one as well. There were some things I did for free because I believe in the value I can bring to the process (e.g. teaching self-esteem programs in the schools, participating in the National Bullying Awareness Week, etc.), and others that were strategic marketing efforts. I balance that out with several projects that are also fun and profitable, so that I can be fiscally responsible to my company and to my family.

What makes the difference for me is going through the annual (and sometimes quarterly) process of evaluating what I'm doing, asking if it is working, and making adjustments as needed. I find myself doing less and less of the stuff that is just NO FUN at all - and spending more time doing what I am most passionate about and having a blast doing it.

When you complete your quadrant, pay close attention to those things that you want to do more of, and begin asking, "What can I do differently to ensure that I am filling more of my time with the FUN and PROFITABLE activities?" Focus on what you want - because energy flows where the attention goes.

I want to hear about your breakthroughs as you go through the 80 day challenge! And guess what - starting in January, we will begin another process to keep us all in forward motion. I encourage you to stick with me on this journey.

I am so excited to bring Transform[ED] Coaching to you beginning January 5th, 2009. What a great way to start the New Year! We all make resolutions about what we want to change, and what we will do differently, but very soon into the first few weeks of January or February, we revert back to our old ways. Do you ever wonder why it is that way? Is it possible that the change we seek is too far outside of our comfort zone? Perhaps, we see what we want to achieve, but we don’t have the tools or the roadmap to get there. Most definitely, we lack the skills to make change sustainable over the long term.

With the help of Transform[ED] Coaching you can finally cut through all of that, and begin making those all important steps towards your goals. I will be your partner in success, accountability, and in effort – guiding you through the processes required to Get Past Your Past, Stress Less, and to acquire the Anger Solutions you need to move forward.

Transform[ED] Coaching is an 8-week group process that you can participate in from the comfort of your own home. All you will need is your telephone, a journal, and a pen. I will provide you with the roadmap, the tools, the insight, and the leverage you need to make the changes you desire. You can be assured that your personal information will remain confidential, and your self-work will be seen only by me. Each hour-long session will focus on a particular task or issue, and there will be an opportunity for question and answer at the end of each call. Those questions that cannot be answered within our time will be covered in an e-mail. Because I want to be able to give each participant the personal attention they deserve, registration in these sessions is limited to the first 20 who sign up.

The investment in this process of creating radical, lasting, positive change in your life is only $579 – a fraction of what I normally require from individual coaching clients. Because you are a valued customer and friend of BRC, I am pleased to offer you a $100 discount when you sign up for our January 5 class. Tell a friend about this class and have them sign up with you, and we will extend the $100 savings to them AND take another $25 off your registration fee.

Are you ready to be Transform[ED]?
Call today 1-866-754-6169 to get your name on the list.

Added Information for the 80 Day Challenge - Money

Hello all - I hope that you are sticking with me on the 80 Day Challenge - I know that for me, it has been a real exciting journey, watching as I make huge strides, building momentum that will carry me into 2009.

The exercise "Money and Me" that I shared with you a few posts back was created by Morgana Rae, and it is only fitting that she should be credited with this amazing exercise. Morgana Rae, the Charmed Life Coach and Money Magic Queen, helps entrepreneurs attract more than they chase and RADICALLY change their relationship with money. You can find her at www.abundanceandprosperity.com

Check out her website the next opportunity you have. In our next post, I'll have another challenge for you to work on as we continue our 80 day countdown to the end of the year!

Angry? Sleep on It!

Sleep Deprivation - from HR Magazine, May, 1999 by Stephenie Overman
You know the feeling: It's hard to get out of bed in the morning. You can't put together two intelligent sentences before your first cup of coffee. It takes longer than usual to complete your work duties.

It's called sleep deprivation and it affects some 70 million Americans, according to the National Commission on Sleep Disorders at the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Md. The commission's studies show that work-related problems such as increased stress, inattention and diminished productivity are caused by workers' lack of sleep or poor quality sleep. The cost for U.S. businesses is estimated at $150 billion a year.
Read the whole article at: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3495/is_5_44/ai_54711192

Now put that together with this article just released yesterday:

Emotions Run Amok in Sleep-Deprived Brains
Charles Q. Choi, Special to LiveScienceLiveScience.com Mon., Oct 22, 12:20 PM ET
Without sleep, the emotional centers of our brains dramatically overreact to bad experiences, research now reveals.

"When we're sleep deprived, it's really as if the brain is reverting to more primitive behavior, regressing in terms of the control humans normally have over their emotions," researcher Matthew Walker, a neuroscientist at the University of California, Berkeley, told LiveScience.
While past studies have revealed that sleep loss can impair the immune system and brain processes such as learning and memory, there has been surprisingly little research into why sleep deprivation affects emotions, Walker said.

Walker and his colleagues had 26 healthy volunteers either get normal sleep or get sleep deprived, making them stay awake for roughly 35 hours. On the following day, the researchers scanned brain activity in volunteers using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) while they viewed 100 images. These started off as emotionally neutral, such as photos of spoons or baskets, but they became increasingly negative in tone over time—for instance, pictures of attacking sharks or vipers.

"While we predicted that the emotional centers of the brain would overreact after sleep deprivation, we didn't predict they'd overreact as much as they did," Walker said. "They became more than 60 percent more reactive to negative emotional stimuli. That's a whopping increase—the emotional parts of the brain just seem to run amok."

The researchers pinpointed this hyperactive response to a shutdown of the prefrontal lobe, a brain region that normally keeps emotions under control. This structure is relatively new in human evolution, "and so it may not yet have adapted ways to cope with certain biological extremes," Walker speculated. "Human beings are one of the few species that really deprive themselves of sleep. It's a real oddity in nature."

The findings are detailed in the Oct. 23 issue of the journal Current Biology.
Read the whole article at http://www.sciencedaily.com.

What we can extrapolate from these two articles is that over 20% of the US population is sleep deprived; meaning that over 20% of the population may be experiencing overreactions in the emotional centers of the brain, when faced with negative stimuli. In other words, on a normal day, a person having had adequate sleep will be able to cope more effectively with negative stimuli than one who is sleep deprived.

When anger-inducing situations come your way, do you find you have no tolerance? Do you fly off the handle more quickly than you used to, and do you find that you are more stressed and less able to cope? The answer might be as simple as increasing the amount of time you spend sleeping each night.

The studies show that increasing the amount of sleep we get each night, and maintaining regular sleep patterns are ways to ensure that our brains can function at peak potential during our waking hours. Could resolving anger be that simple? While it takes more than a good night’s sleep to resolve anger, ensuring that your brain is well rested can take you a long way towards being able to evaluate your circumstances more clearly, and to make better choices about how you want to achieve positive outcomes in the face of anger.